Joshin Jane

radiostation emotions

it's been a long weekend, pleasant despite the incessant
bickering.
i do believe it's not possible for me and my mother to get
along peacefully for longer than a 20-minute period, but i
still enjoyed the weekend and am glad i went.

it took me three days to get a hold of leigh but i finally
managed; she flipped out when i called.
she brought harley to meet me in the lobby of the
middlebury inn and she and i just stood at the bottom of
the stairs for who knows how long while harley and my
mother watched curiously.
i think all the time we spent with harley on sunday
afternoon must have been a mysterious, "whoosh"-like
experience for him; half the time leigh and i didn't even
know what we were talking about.
it was a simple pleasure to be able to spurt out names that
someone would recognize.
i went to school with her this morning for a little bit and
met all the friends i'd heard about.
everything sticks the same way it does with becky's friends.
allie is "leland allie."
ben is "fatty."
harley is "romeo."
and marisa and i just keep missing each other.
marisa, my love, there will be a next time.

there's not much to say about the schools.
dartmouth was disappointing.
well, i suppose i was more disappointed in not getting the
boner i was waiting for than in the school itself, and in
not getting to see katie, who was NEVER HOME!!!
i didn't get to see williams too in-depth but we had lunch
at a fantastic thai place - that wins gigantic kudos with
me - and the squash courts blew me away.
i spent all of lunch looking out the window, wondering
where alex might be; i made myself lose his number last
year because wondering was driving me crazy.
middlebury was good, but i'm not sure what i think of it
yet.
leigh and i went out last night to the grille after her
football banquet and dinner with john.
the walk was just long enough to give us time to catch up
on EVERYTHING, and then we sat around with the greatest
smoothie ever made, listening to fantastic guitar and
looking at cute college boys.
i am a big fan of cute college boys.
without them, college would just be high school for big
people.
anyway, i'm glad i got to see the nightlife.
we walked through the grill on the tour this morning and it
looked clean, sunny, comfortable, very much like the ham
barn, but devoid of the energy and coziness i felt last
night.
the tour was good.
julie from maine is my hero.
it didn't give me the feeling that lawrenceville had, as if
i had to go there or i would be living the remainder of my
life in restless, regretful anguish, but what can i expect
after lawrenceville?
i'll suck it up because midd does look great.
there's the bag lunch lady in proctor.
there's the lounge in the science building.
there's coed housing.
the awe of the grill goes without saying.
i walked past geltz's dorm room this morning, did a 360,
and went "whooooooa, that's geltz's room" and people gave
me some intersting looks.
even the bulletin boards in mccullough made me really happy.
i still have a lot of schools to check out, so we'll see.
i have learned that these schools aren't what i was
expecting them to be.
i mean, i thought very highly of dartmouth until i went to
the information session - if the admissions officer had
used the word "zest" once more, i would possibly have
thrown my cranberry juice on her - and the tour, and i
wasn't really considering williams at all until i saw the
campus and the town.

something that's been rolling around in my head for the 21
hours we spent in the car:
[foo fighters]
You believe there's somewhere else
Where it's easier than this
And you see outside yourself
and you buy the hole you'll fill and still
it's on and on and on and on and on