Faerie Onyx

I just made the biggest mistake of my life...

Okay, I broke up with my boyfriend. It felt right because
I was so angry at him, but now it feels so bad. I can't
describe it any other way... This is what happened: He
walked past me, and didn't even acknowledge that I was
there. I know he saw me because we made eye contact for
just a split second. He said hello to his friend and then
walked right by me, mumbling something inaudible. For some
stupid reason I wrote it off as his being tired. After
first period, I was with his friend again waiting for my
boyfriend. He walked up to his friend and made some crack
about his "stupid Bob Marley hat." He looked at me, and
then, oce again, walked right by me. I don't know why he
was acting like that either. I turned and went after him.
When I could reach him, I tapped his arm. I was kind of
angry, but more confused that anything. Anyway, I was
totally prepared to forgive him if he apologized or said
that he didn't see me, or even if he just kissed me. He
just looked at me and said, "Where are you going?" I told
him that I was going to the office, and he said, "Oh,
that's where I'm going too." I walked with him to the
office. (Now may be a good time to add that I had taken
off the necklace he had let me wear.) He was standing
outside of the office when I left. I just walked up to
him, and I said something like, "My mom said that we should
break up. And she also said that I should give this back
to you." I handed him the necklace, and I realized that I
made the biggest mistake of my life. I had just wanted to
kiss him, and make everything better because he seemed a
bit off lately. Then I looked at him, and I thought to
myself, 'Great Goddess, what the hell was I thinking???' I
wanted to hug him because I felt bad, not because he felt
bad. He didn't even look hurt, just very defensive. He
said, "No! I'm not playing a game of 'make-up/break-up'.
You just fuckin dumped me!" I'd like to think that I did
the right thing, but everything in me is telling me that I
was wrong and stupid. I just don't know what to do. I'm
so lost without him, and it's still the first day!
~Faerie