squeebs

Give up?

Here we go again. You know how I feel about my baby. Hell,
he's practically the only male I've thought of for the past
seven years- well with the exception of several celebrities
of course and then this crush I seem to be developing on one
of my guy friends- damn, why does that happen? Anyways so I'm
practically stalking the guy. I keep going on and offline,
waiting to see if he'll come on. So I went off for like half
an hour to work on my paper and I come back on and he's on.
So I'm all psyched but want to try the ol' "Let's see if he
bugs me first thing". He didn't but then again, he says
sometimes he doesn't check so maybe he didn't know I was on.
I dunno. But I didn't bother him and he went off. So I
didn't get to talk to him. I mean I know I'm making it sound
like the end of the world but frigg, it really makes my day
when I talk to him. Besides, I went like almost 2 years with
little contact... it's almost like I NEED to talk to him. So
then in my head again I'm all like "Maybe I should just give
up on him after all" but everytime I try to do that,
something leads me back to him. Like it's a sign that I
should stick it through. And he HAS been awfully flirty of
late. Who knows. Just if he tries to lead me on, I will
soooo kick his ass. My heart can't afford to be broken
again. It has been so many times already, a lot of times at
his hands. And he doesn't even know it, that's the sad
thing. Oh you know I'll end up hanging in there again. I'll
most likely still be waiting around for him when I'm 102. Oh
the things we do for boys. Anyways gotta jet.

Current mood: confused
Current music: "The Game is Over"- N'SYNC