Censored For Your Pleasure
2001-11-19 12:29:38 (UTC)


My sister said I needed to smile more in my dance concert
tonite. I know I did. I tried so hard to smile but i just
couldn't. I can't feel the dance anymore. I stuffed up so
many imes coz i'm so withdraw from the emotion. I usually
get told i have a great stage presence. Tonite I think
people were more likely to cringe at my dancing. Usually I
can feel the dance and the music through my whole body.
But tonite there was nothing. And last night too. It's
been sort of happening for a few weeks, not to this
extreme though. Usually if i'm dancing or somehing or
anything that I put a lot of emotion into I'm fine. But
now there's just nothing. The last time I felt anything
was such a beautiful moment. So gentile, so pure. But
after that I was confused. I wasn't quite sure what had
happened. I felt spiteful from my lack of being anyhting.
I could feel my emotions slowly sliping away from me. Then
soon after, to comletely destroy anything left inside me,
I was shown just how much I was nothing at all. Just a toy
that no one really want. Just a toy that people will just
use when it seems easy.

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