The Fact Of The Matter
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2001-11-19 09:57:12 (UTC)


I am Captain Ahab. I am a beer pong god in search of my
goddess. I have slept in the Lincon bedroom, but I much
prefer the suite at Buckingham. Women want me, men fear me,
and your mother warned you about me. I am an fluent in
Canadian, wanted in 37 countries and 43 states, I escaped
Alcatraz. I enjoy long walks on the beach and candle lit
dinners. I am a Republican, a soccer mom, and I represent
gun toting meat eating people. I create fashion, mold
thinking, teach children and love whales. God calls me for
advice. I am engineered to be strong and fast. Batman
ain't got shit on me. I am the Walrus, coo coo ca-choo. I
object to vegans on religious grounds. I have starred in
major motion pictures. In my spare time I am the Pope.
Jesus, Mohamed, and Buddah all wish they had my jump shot.
I am immortal. My ego needs a seperate seat at dinner.
You don't have to tell me I'm good, I already know.

Just thought I'd introduce myself kids.

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