2001-11-19 04:56:57 (UTC)

sanity. whats that. and when is..

whats that.
and when
is when you give up.
and why
is it so difficult
to love you.
i dont understand it.
and i dont understand you.
a lot of times.
and it makes me sad
to think
that all of this love.
this love that is rare for me now.
could be wasted.
wasted on...
and misunderstandings.
you need to be happy.
i need to be happy.
i am happy with you.
most of the time.
and most of the time.
is good enough for me.
i wouldnt want.
it to be easy.
but youre not happy.
and i dont know if its me.
and i dont know what to do
to fix this.
i dont know.
im at the end of that rope ani sings about.
in so many different ways.
there is so much.
going on around me.
and i just want to chill.
i just want to chill and drink some coffee.
thats it.
nothing can ever be just fine.
and whenever im starting to think that it is.
whenever im starting to think that this time.
this time its okay.
thats when shit really fucks up.
and then its worse.
because it takes me by surprize.
i am tired.
but i cant sleep.
im hungry.
and i cant eat.
theres nothing.
nothing for me to do.
but sit on my ass.
and try to convince myself that im okay.
and that everything is going to be.
because right now.
im really not feeling any part of my life is stable.
like i have nothing to hold me down.
like im just going to float away.
and maybe.
maybe i should just stop fighting it.
and let go..
or maybe
i should just go to sleep
and wake up
and try today again tomorrow