Tough Times
2001-03-26 23:11:57 (UTC)

I m not sure why I m exactly..

I'm not sure why I'm exactly doing this. I've only kept
diaries for brief periods of time. Nothing special. I've
read some of the other entries and I've come to realize,
this is a place where most people are troubled. I am the
same. Maybe we look for a place where we can just "talk".
For some reason, I've lost a couple of my key friendships.
i have no one to talk to about my troubles. It's not easy
to live. No one said it would be easy, but no one ever
told me it would be this difficult. Sure we should see how
blessed we are to have food on the table, a warm bed to
sleep in, etc. However, are we so blessed to have a
hurting heart? Many people say, "I'm blessed for a new
day". Not me. I wonder so many times what it would be like
to die. My impulses to hurt myself are becoming stronger.
I had an immense feeling to just flip my car on the
freeway. The impulses were small and controllable. Now
they are getting more pronounced and harder to fight off.
I assume we just need a little attention from someone...
anyone. I guess that's why we are here and write the
stories we write. Best of luck to all. May you find what
you need in here