the one who got away

lost somewhere inside of me
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2001-11-18 20:15:19 (UTC)

intoxicated

oh my gosh how drunk was i last night
i found out that i asked sauter to have sex with me b/c
josh told me no......oh my....that scares me
and then we were playing this fortune telling game and it
came up like 4 times that leha was pregnant and then it
denied it....it also said four times that josh and i would
definately get married in the next five years and we might
get married in the next year.

when i got to my little bro's party last night i was so
pissed off b/c of work that all i wanted was to drink i
know that kinda sounds stupid but thats all i wanted i
didnt want to have to be in a bad mood anymore.....i mean i
even ripped geoff as soon as i got there for absolutely no
reason and it was HIS birthday i didnt mean it but i was so
upset.....so josh fixed me a drink cool-aid and sme form of
hard liquor is was good as i gulped it down and then he got
me another glass that had more alcohol then the first one

i apparently am jessicas new bestfriend b/c i said id let
josh go to prom with her....but she was all over all the
guys last night and i got scared ......i dont want to lose
josh and i know he keeps telling me i have nothing to worry
about but its still a fading fear....

the one thing i do keep thinking about though is that the
card game that was supposedly telling fortunes said that
josh and i weret TRULY happy......part of me knows why..but
part of me is scared to find out....if that makes any kind
of sense

but i have to go buy more paint so i can finish my
beautiful bathroom

tata for now


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