Do I get my lap dance now?
Please come back in a thousand years.
Why can't I be a whore, too? I mean, I'm easy as fuck, I'm
hot (or so I've been told), and I'm always available.
Like, call my house, I'll be home. Cute little Dave from
high school was at the coffee place last night, and I told
him he owed me a fetus. Then he calls April this
afternoon. AUGH! Look at me! Look at me, I'm naked!!
And I don't have baggage! April gets emotionally attached
and falls in love!! I don't even believe in love!! I'm a
safe fuck! I won't bother you afterwards with shit. Just
fuck me and go home. That's all I want. Dave, call me.
Hell, don't even call me. Just come over unannounced.
I'll turn my house into a solo bordello for you.
Hey wait, I'm getting a dillusional epiphany. Maybe he's
calling April to find out about me. Yes, that must be it.
He knew that I was with George, and he saw me sitting with
Cameron last night, so he got confused, and he's calling
April to find out if I'm available. Yes, that's all. I'm
happy now. Just close the door and leave me in my happy
little world, all by myself.
And there was a baby shower earlier today, because stupid
Rusty impregnated stupid Shelly, and the stupid baby is due
next month. I don't do baby showers, so of course I didn't
show up, but I heard there was a beer-fest after Shelly
left, so I was gonna go to that, but nobody called me. So
I called them, and nobody answered the phone. And nobody
called me back to tell me nothing was happening.
Assholes. So I sat around entertaining myself AWAY from
the phone line. There's barely a reason to be angry, but
I'm pissed anyway. Call me back, dammit! Even if nothing
is going on, call me back and tell me that. The whole
freaking night, I thought they were having a party without
me. Jerks. I need my own apartment, so (1)Dave can come
over and screw me, and (2)MY place will be the party place,
goddammit. Bleah, I'm just in a shitty mood. And I have a
whole fucking kitchen to clean. I don't want to. I want
to go to bed so I can wake up in four hours and walk around
some fair, hoping to see beautiful infatuous Joel-with-the-
I have angst.
Current mood: Pissy-as-hell.
Current tunes: Saves the Day - Seasons in the Sun
Current advice - Call me back, godfuckit!