Realizations of a 24yr old convict
2001-11-18 11:49:14 (UTC)

Shooting stars

Ok Im fucked this I know why me why here why now I guess
this is really what my lifes all about just kinda wondering
from life to life story to story never really anticipating
anything and then....Fuck thats not gonna work my friends
that start or the ending or anypart of what Ive set the
sights on, swearing just hours ago saying to my self you
gave chase and you know this isnt going to be right no
matter how you play it.Me never the quiter always stong
looking for the easy way out strange I must admit mabe
thinking if I walked away now.I could just think how great
it could have been if the stars and moon where in the right
spot. Loving the smiles and hugs and the thought of what
could be. Mabe not wanting to know what really is to be.
But yes Im the fool always in these matters and rather
than just walking away and knowing those smiles and short
but always the most presious conversations and mabe somday
toasting a glass to her as the one who might have been.
Instead Ill play the cards a hand no one can win. Knowing
even now anything wagered is lost.
Mabe it is a lost cause anyone who knows me will sweare
thats why I have to do this but its more, its the way shes
already there creeping into my thoughts,Even the sacrate
seven dollar cheese cake was disrupted by thoughts of her.
Addmitly tasting better with visions of her dancing though
the mind. Dancing with some girl,beautiful,inteligent,about
to gratuate next semester from UNR and move on to her
masters. As the time passes she becomes more of everything
Im looking for, but the only reason Im still there so close
to her is that somewhere on this girl is the faint smell of
the blonde one holding me there captive, entranced,
knowing this is the closest Ill come to a night like this
with the real thing. The goddess the seemingly more and
more object of my affection this woman who I know nothing
of. And as this night ends finally leaving knowing that
even perfect as she was she was not what I was seeking
comming home to the stars falling all around me and a
thousand wishes to be made....me only asking one thing from
all those stars and wishes. Her wishes what ever they may
be may she have them all and know and have the things which
make her happy. And if not me then someone to give her the
things everyone needs,friendship and love,backrubs and
those little kisses on the back of her neck.