2001-11-18 02:48:33 (UTC)

It's Saturday Night

Well it's Saturday night as the title suggests and I'm at
home, pretty bored. My brother is having HIS birthday party
tonight (our birthdays are really close together) but I
don't really know most of his friends so I'm inside for the
time being while they're all outside. I'm kind of bored so
I'll probably go out there pretty soon. It kind of sucks
though cuz there's like, fifteen kids out there already.
Last night, I managed to drag two people out with my for MY
birthday. Yeah I feel so cool.
So the stuff about that guy I liked is like pretty much
over. It's just so dumb, it's not worth wasting my time on.
Having a boyfriend would just be more hassle for me
anyways. I learned last time that boyfriends aren't really
all they're cracked up to be cuz they usually end up being
fairly immature, irresponsible people who drag you down
with them. Ask me why I want another one? I have no idea
what the attraction is but I guess it's some kind of
biological impulse thing that I can't control. I'm 19 years
old, I suppose I should have had more than one, two month
long relationship in my entire life. I'm supposed to be
finding a husband I guess. Things don't really work out
that well for me though so I think I'm almost at the point
where I'm just going to stop even trying. I haven't really
liked anyone except for this most recent guy since I broke
up with the ex eight months ago. (eight months, my god, it
was so long ago but it doesn't seem like it).
I'm a young person, in the 'prime' of my life supposedly...
I'm supposed to be like running around dating and having
fun but that's not how things are. I don't really know why
I got an 85 on the last test I did at school, but it still
was one percent short of an A. I hate this. I want a stupid
Honors BA and I can't even swing an A. I figured it out and
my average in the class is an 83, which is not bad but
STILL not an A. I dont know why they grade things so
differently from course to course. Just to make things
interesting I guess. I'm not stupid. I should be able to
get an A. Argh.