2001-11-18 01:14:52 (UTC)

Right Now I'm Pissed Off, But Anyway...

Well, I'm very pissed of cause of the dumbest thing (in my
so called relatives opinion.) My brother was looking for
some pens, and he asked me do I have any. I told him to get
them from my bookbag. He did, but the wrong kind. I didn't
think that he would be that stupid that he would go and
take gel pens to write with for his asshole boyscouts. Even
if he would take those pens he should come home, and give
them back to me. All of them! Not just 2 out of 10! Then he
sais that the rest must have spilled in the car. Knowing
how I NEEDED THEM to do my homework, like a fool, I went to
the car and recovered 7 out of 8. 1 which was without a
cap! Thank God I got there in time. He lost the blue one!
The one I use most! Now he objects to look for it, or buy
another, even when my parents will provide him with the
cash. BITCH!!! Is the only word that properly describes
him. I took his bookbag, which contains alot of his stuff,
and hid it. (not exactly a good hidding place, but whatever
works.) I told him that I will not give that back to him,
unless he finds or replaces the pen. Also, I put my dear
Peaches away so that he will not play on him anymore. Screw
being nice! I'm through with it. I thought I would be
helpful and nice, but you just can't depend on brothers! If
I would ever borrow something from him, I give it back. (IN
ONE PIECE!!!) He doesn't get that. That he is responcible.
Bitch, is playing video games right now. Doesn't give a
damn. I got so much homework to do and I need that pen for
it. You see, I never REALLY have so much homework. I just
have to study alot. THIS IS HOW I STUDY!!! I rewrite my
notes cause I can't read my own writting, I organize, read
and re-read my text books, because in a class, I don't JUST
wanna get a passing grade. Nor do I wanna get an A. I want
to actually gain knowledge and understanding of that
subject. I have a lot of catching up to do, since last
quarter I've been slacking off, and this quarter I'm
starting with a little more enthusiasm for learning.
Unfortunately, shit like this kills everything.
I got (in order from worst grade to best) : Art = C;
English, Theatre Tech, Physics and French 1 = B; U.S.
History and Music Appreciation = A. A 3.1 G.P.A. Last year
I had a 2.3 or something. I still have a chance to improve
all grades to A's, but I won't and refue to do any school
work, until I get that pen! I'll be like the rest of the
family. No high expectations for anyone! I'll be like him.
The bastard BARELY got his diploma. (ofcourse I just said
that to everyone to piss them off and make my point that
this is a big deal.) Cause it is. I will do my homework. I
can't live with out doing so. Besides, the last thing I
wanna be is like them. YUCK!!! I just won't do it at home.
Which is actaully hurting myself, but he is just like his
father. So irresponcible. Speaking of which, he went
somewhere. I think he's doing some legal gambling. He was
in a good mood and was asking me where do I buy that stuff,
so I'm hoping he'll be kind enough to go there and get the
shit, or else I'll never get it. I won't. I have my
dignity. If I borrow something to someone, it is their
responcibility to give it back, UNDAMAGED!!! Hopefully that
helped me get some of my anger out. But you see the reason
why I am so, so pissed, is cause last year I was fucking up
and now I'm trying to make everything right. It really
pisses me of when something gets in my way!

But Anyway...

The play has gotten so much better that I'm actually
starting to like it, and will speak honestly when I say,
it's gonna be a great play, and it will most definately not
cancel. The people there are really great.
Oh, and by the way, I volunteered to go to school for the
8th grade open house and perform a scene with my friend. I
expect it to be kinda cool, since alot of my theatre
friends will be there, and theatre tech 2 folks are real
wild. Atleast the ones I know.

I'd just like to add, that I miss my best budd like hell.
Cause I reallllly do. She kicks ass. And by the way, your
dream reminded me of Sleeping Beauty more then Beuty and
the beast. The end scene where her dress changes colors. I
was trying to determine what the colors would have
symbolized but something is reall screwy with my computer
and I can't get on any websites. Even on Internet Explorer.
THE PENS. SUPERB!!!) But anyway, I found this website I
don't remember was it Yahoo horoscopes that led me to it or
aol horoscopes, but I ended up at this site where you just
type in a word about your dream and it pops out, what it
Also, I can't stop thinking about the dude. I haven't heard
from him much. The only way I keep in touch with him is by
checking his horoscope. Supposobaly this is too early for
his band to hit it big. " if they do, then they
will get a bad rep. Don't want that to happen.
FREAKY STUFF = I just checked the status if he checked the
mail I sent him. I thought he'll read it today. Guess what
he did. At like 12:42. I thought he would cause he was
suppose to have some problems with his business (band) and
some unexpected source would help out on Sunday, so I
thought it might be me. Maybe it was. I gotta check my mail
in yahoo. Cause I know I have one. Maybe he wrote back

Well that is way over enough for now, so by dudes!

-Amnesia Spring