Trixie Dust

Trixies in the Wind
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2001-11-17 22:34:51 (UTC)

I went to Erins

It was cool. Woulda been better had I not been sick and not
cried my brains out yesterday, but you know. We went to
the mall and went to Byrons karate match and he got second
place. Thats awesome. WE were at the mall from like 1030
to 230. And last night we bought 'Someone Like You' off
pay per view and it was really awesome. It was a
gooooooooooooooooooooooood movie.

Im in a really sucky mood. Matt is going to the movies
with this Patti chick and im so freaking jealous its not
funny. Dont tell me not to be, I have every right.

Anyway, sorry for the meanness today, but im sick and I
dont feel good and im not taking crap from people.

Ive come to a conclusion. My dad is a psycopath.

Heres what he wrote the 17 of Nov:
Well many years ago a young baby was baby shower
was thrown for him
or his earthly parents. The only shower thrown for him was
by his true father in heaven,
who threw a shower in the heavens for all to see. No
celebration was held for his
birth, except for the celebration in the heavens given by
his Holy Father for all to see.
No one came to see him except two shepards who listened to
the angels, who saw the
shower thrown in the night sky..who followed Gods gift of a
heavenly star.
Yes the world ignored the birth of its King..of its Lord of
Lords, of its gift from God.
He was born into the world but the world rejected him,
hated him and killed him.
He was sent into the world to save the world and the world
would not recieve him.
And now another miracle of God is happening. Not at all
glorious as was the birth
of Gods not at all, for they have no glory of their
own, no, only that which is
given them by the Lord. Two will be made one. made whole by
God but the world
as before rejects them. No shower will be given them,
except the shower in the
night sky given to them by God. No party will be thrown for
them except the
party thrown in the nightly heavens by the Lord. and again
as before.. they will be
hated yes rejected and no one will come to see them..for
all of the world rejects them
and wish they had never met. But still the Lord will
perform his miracle and it is only
fitting that the world rejects it, for two will be made one
by God, yes truth will
come and love will come and be made one by the Lord..his
miracle, his signet.
And everyone..yes all, will ignore it . ..ignore the Lord.
And in the night sky who will
see who will notice in the early morning night sky the
blazing lights that God has sent..
For the only party..the only rejoicing for them will be
from the one who cares for them
the one who joined them, the Lord.. the one who makes them
a signet..of truth and love
unto the world..his creation, for his glory and as before
once agian the world cares not.
So if you dare..check it out watch the sky in the early
mornig hours .. say 4 to 6 am
yes go out and see the party thrown by God... in
celebration..of his glorious Son..
and of the gift he is giving the joining of two into one.
I love you....

This is Nov. 16:

your attitude etc.. is destroying you and killing me... but
knock yourself out! You want to accept the lies as truth ..
go ahead..... but I am reaching my saturation point,
no I have reached it. I have just reached my limit with all
of this.
I love you..
I love you and I give

I wrote this in response:

What is wrong with you? I dont mean this harshly. Why do you tell
me these things? Have you no compassion? Why didnt you tell me
about her in the beginning? Why didnt you ask me before you decided
to marry her, only a few months after you had left? This isnt just
you, its me and my family too. All the respect Ive ever had for you
is gone, but that doesnt mean I dont love you. I do not support you
at all, or see any relevance with this marrage to the Bible AT ALL,
besides where it says "do not commit adultry." You got a divorce,
that is adultry. Not only that, but while you were still married, IT
WAS LEGALLY BINDING, not what your head or heart says, and you move
in with another woman, and are inconsiderate enough to say your going
to your sisters, and I almost went with you. So did my sister.
Whats wrong with you? Youve lied, youve cheated, youve sinned. Sin
is sin, and im not trying to be a hypocritical christian, I am coming
to you as your sister in Christ, like the Bible says to do, and
pointing the sin out in your life. This adultry and lying is sin,
and please repent. Please. This isnt right! I dont know what bible
you are reading, but its not the same one I am. Dont tell me about
when two become one there will be a meteor shower, i want to call you
an asshole for that, but i will refrain. If this is so good, why is
there so much pain? Why are so many against you? Is that why you
think it is right? Organize your priorities, ask the church of
calvary chapel of lakeland, ask every person I know, how unholy and
unGodly I am, and I promise you will be surprised. I love my Jesus,
and I love my God, and I am living according to His almighty will to
the best of my abilities. Please, repent.

*sigh* And everyone keeps ridiculing me... keeps attacking
me. Yesterday, we had a party in Jrotc. I wanted to
listen to POD, so did some other people. Pod is rock.
What was I thinking?? Ive listened to two and a half years
of rap in that class, why would that change? I just wanted
to listen to one song. ONE SONG. I mean, I was alittle
upset that they didnt let me. Thats not what bothers me,
though. They dont respect me. At all. They use me like
everyone else uses me. EVERYONE. I mean, there are a few
that respect me. Moye, hes a male, and the females
Pittman, Dyer, Nelson, and Henry to a degree respect me.
But really, none of the guys but Moye do. They never
have. Isreal said that he would support me if I tried to
play a song, and hes the one that stopped me. Not only did
he stop me but by force. He pinned my arms to my side by
wrapping his around me. And it hurt. And I was pissed. I
played it off, but i was pissed. That was the second time
he did that that day. The first time was when I was trying
to get the yard stick from Garcia, because he was chasing
people around with it. Garcia always gives me a hard time
about doing flag detail, its not that hard. You walk down
to the front of a school, watch them fold a flag, and walk
back. Thats all I ask!! Im not a mean person, or
inconsiderate. I wont ask you to do something so hard or
stupid. I observe people and place them in what i think is
the best place for them. Im sick of getting shut down, I
dont understand. I dont get the way the world works. I
really dont. Im like a child, I have a childlike heart.
No matter how much you lie or hurt me, Ill still have faith
in you, in this race, in humanity, so it is called. No
matter how much i get hurt, Im going to keep my faith,
especially that in God. No matter how much this hurts, Ill
always have that. Im following Him, even though I dont
understand. I honestly dont. I dont get why I hurt, but
He knows, and Hes my friend. Im not totally alone.

But Mom still doesnt understand. There is so much I have to be
careful not to say, and its killing me inside.

Huggles, Will, thank you so much. *HUG* I love you.

Matt, angel, I love you sooo much and i miss you.

Mary, i miss you.