2001-11-17 21:38:18 (UTC)

I Hate Life

Life for a 15 year old is pretty tough. My mother to way
over protective about me. I cant go anywhere this weekend.
like usual because either my friends are to old or They
have no parent supervision. My whole life ive been in my
room by myself. I have no real friends. Just people that i
cant trust. Excet for Quinn. He seems to understand me. I
lov him so much. But i tried to tell my mother about him by
refering myself and Quinn as two people named Megan ad
John. I told her that Megan was 15 and John was 20. Just
like me and Quinn. She flipped out and sh told me that if
she was the girls mother she would call the cops on him and
make sure he rots in jail. I am dedicating my life to
Quinn. I m going to protect him from her. I dont want to
see him in jail. I use to see my father in jail. Divorce. I
wonder if i marred Quinn if he would ever divorce me for
another women. Well thats in th futue maybe. Hopefully we
will b together for a long time. Only Forever? Notice
the "or ever" in forever. I always think abou that when i
think about Quinn. "will we be together forever....Or
ever?" Im confused. My whole life has been horrible. Lance
and Lyle moved. Kevin Dies. Quinn has to move. Quinn is in
the Navy an he was transfered to Georgia. Its hard bcause
im in CT. I miss him terribly. One day im going to Runaway.
when i turn 18. Im going to pack my stuff and just leave.
Im goig to be one of them Navy wives that move where ever
there husband goes and waits for him. I guess its the only
way me and Quinn will be together. But i am willing to take
that chance. Most people said that Im to mature for my age.
That..Ive grown up to fast. Being a kid is something i need
to be they said. They said that its supid of me to be so
mature. I turn 16 November 23d. I dont want to be a kid. I
dont want to be immature. I want to be independent and
prove off everyone that i can take care of myself. Well I
have to go. My brother is a compulsive lier and he insists
on tormenting me. Is what he says true? Am i fat and ugly?
Do i deserve anyone? Do i deserve to live any longer?

~*~ Blessed Be ~*~
- Freedom

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