dorkydyke

The Basement
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2001-11-17 21:28:48 (UTC)

Standing Here....

hey,
I have a headache ryte now so I wont talk here for long. I
just got outta da shower so mah hair is freakin wet. Itz
annoying. :P
Anyhoo I just stood dere in da shower wit mah arms crossed
thinking. Thinkin 'bout everything and yet nothing in
peticular. I usually stand dere for only a few minutes.
Showerin is da only tyme I kan really think without bein
afraid someone will hear mah thoughts.I mean dun u hate it
when its so quiet dat ur afraid ur broadcasting ur
everythought to someone else? Well dats how I usually feel.
But in da shower I kno I kan think and da sound of da water
runnin ish conforting ya kno? So I just stood dere thinkin
and givin mahself a headache when mah sister started bangin
on da door. I realized I've been standin dere for about
half an hour. So I got out and gotten dressed when I
started thinkin again. I hate tihnking! ...So I dipped mah
head into a sink full of freezing cold water which
momentarly numbed mah brain. All of mah thoughts always
leads back to J. grrrr...I really hate mahself. I'm f*ckin
retarded. *sigh* lyke wat mnah friend says, "no one is a
virgian, lyfe screws us all." But I'm not really blamin on
lyfe, I mean mah whole lyfe I've been screwed. Do you kno
how hard it is to be da only one in a kindergarden class
dat already knows multiplication? Da only one dis tall? Da
only one so quiet?Yeah, as u kan tell I didn't have alot of
friends.Been a loner since I was born. I guess da only ryte
thing is lyke always, blame mahself. I'm da only me.
Hahaha I bet ur lost huh? Well meet mah thoughts. Nothing
in mah world makes sense.But I've been tryin for da last 14
years.I'm gonna go now, da water ish swishin around in mah
brain and gettin annoying. bai
~S


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