valentino da budapesti

the 19th cookbook
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2001-11-17 21:26:29 (UTC)

I see the british girl that..

I see the british girl that drugs my heart at school. She
smiles. I offer her tickets to go to an art-show. She can't go, but
she smiles. And I begin to think that there is almost a quality of
pedophilia in my attraction to her. She does not look like a ten
year old, but she could easily pass for a sixteen year old. Her
innocent face, her smiling eyes, her gentle voice. I want to be so
clsoe to her, but I acknowledge that this would in all likelyhood
erode my interest in her. She is a ghost, a beauty from another
world whose appeal depends on a certain fantastic distance. And if I
kissed her she would probably turn ugly or dumb. I know that I could
kill this fantasy by touching her, but given a chance I probably
would.


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