nohbody special

11/17/01 12:51 am

Wow why am I writing in a diary let alone one billions
(okay well millions considering that 1% of the world has
a computer) of people could read. This borders on the
stupidest thing Ive ever thought of doing. Oh well I need
somewhere to vent so this will have to do.
Why is it that when poeple you care about dont care
about you it hurts more than people you care about
actually hating you?
Why is it that one dirty slutty drunken whore bitch can
with one question turn ten otherwise nice people
against you and then go around talking shit about. Why
do people like this exist. Just further proof that if im
wrong and there is a god he/she/it certainly isnt a
benevolent one. Hence the reason i stopped beleiving
in god in the first. Dont you love circular arguments. I
dont beleive in god because it isnt beneveolent and it
isnt benevolent because my life sucks. Maybe im lucky
enough to be like Job or something and 2000 years
from now people will tal about how i was tested and
shit like that. Unlikely if you ask me but hey who knows.
I would just like to go on record saying that if that
happens it is against my permission and im gonna sue
all your asses for defamation of character.
Yeah so more on the my life sucks topic. two of my
friends are in the middle of WWIII with their roomates
so kind of six of my friends but im really only know two
or three of them well. so thats sucky my kind of ex kind
of just friend who i went to prom with wants to kill
herself and has as long as ive known her. And another
one of my friends may be about to make the biggest
mistake of her life because she doesnt beleive in
abortion. Oh and the worst part is ive cant tell anyone
about it because those three are the people i talk to.
Oh and if your wondering about the people you care
about comment thats because the greatest girl ive ever
met wont go out with me because she cant decide if
she is over her ex boyfirend who dumped because she
isnt christian. im sorry but if youre getting dumped for
something about you you cant or wont change then it
seems that there really isnt much of a chance of a
relationship there. but of course i cant tell her that
because then i sound bitter. what bitter me. never not
in a million years. well okay maybe a little. okay fine i
cant remember anything ive been this bitter about with
the possible exception of stacy telling me she trusted
me with her life and that was why she couldnt go out
with me. That brings up the greatest regret of my
admittedly short thus far life. but thats a story for
another time. of well ive managed to blather on for 10
minutes now about how much my life sucks so im
gonna stop. Maybe ill get lucky and when we go out
firedancing tomorrow shell tell me that she has finally
decided that there was no future there and that she
wants to go out with me...yeah right more likely shell tell
me that shes into tom and ill have yet another knife in
my back. im begining to loose count. oh well. i am
starting to think that im the definition of that curse "may
you live in interestign times" oh well off to
bed...maybe..probably a few more metallica songs first
and then maybe some bad religion. oh and one more
thing FUCK MY ROOMATE FUCK HIM AND HIS
RELIGION AND HIS PATRIOTISM AND HIS SPORTS
BULLSHIT ITS PEOPLE LIKE HIM THAT PEOPLE LIKE
ME THINK MAYBE PEOPLE LIKE BIN LADEN ARE
RIGHT AND AMERICA IS EVIL. well okay we know
america is evil but it makes me wonder if its worth
destroying and in the mood ive been in lately give me
an airplane and point me at the white house.