Trixie Dust

Trixies in the Wind
2001-11-16 20:28:34 (UTC)

Emily Dickinson

As a person, I dont really like her. But i like this poem
by her.

Much Madness is divinest Sense-
To a discerning Eye-
Much Sense- the starkest Madness-
'Tis the Majority
In this, as All, prevail-
Aseent- and you are sane-
Demur- you're straightway dangerous-
And handled with a Chain-

Mrs ethridge said that one was hard to understand. I got
it immediatly. Because that poem describes me. Im the
one 'handled with a Chain'... Im so sick of being
persecuted for being me. You know what, FUCK ALL OF YOU.
Yeah, waht a christian attitude. Im walking home from
school trying not to bawl as I hand this all over to God.
Yeah, Im a hypocrite. Gimme a break already. I cant take
everything at once. I can only bottle up so much. That
bottle has to grow as I do, cuz I have a lot shoved up in
that bottle called 'Denial'. I dont wanna believe my daddy
left me. I dont wanna believe I have two new brothers and
a sister I dont even know. I dont wanna believe Im all
alone again. Whyd he leave me? Why does everyone leave
me? Why do they always abandon me when I need them? Is it
me or them that has the problem? I wanna spill my guts but
i dont want to hurt anyone. Matts over loaded, and I cant
spill to will cuz its too fucking complicated to do that.
I cant say why it just is. The only person I can tell is
God. Is that why I rely on Him so much? I have no one to
talk to. I cant talk to mom or ashley or dad. I didnt
mean to wake ashley up... i was only trying to help matt.
I really didnt mean to. I was only trying to help...
whenever i try to help i always make it worse. Always.

Im annoying myself.

Im going to erins tonight. :) Were going to the movies.

Laters all