A Confession of Love
2001-03-26 04:28:12 (UTC)

Thu Mar 8, 2001 10:43 PM EST ..

Thu Mar 8, 2001
10:43 PM EST

"Missing You..."

Palmer- Wednesday, 03/07/2001 12:09 AM

It hasn’t even been a full 24 hours since the last time I
talked to you, but I already miss you. I don’t know why,
but I do. I really wish that we could have talked more last
night, but I felt so bad because you were tired and you
stayed up longer just to talk to me. Thank you!! (Yes that
was needed lol) So anyway, I just thought that I would
write and tell you that I was thinking of you. I know that
is really silly and cheesy but oh well. Nichole made a joke
today about looking in the phone book for a 12 -step
program for “Palmer withdrawal” and I am beginning to think
that I may really need one. lol I really don’t know how I
made it through the weekend that I had Glavin without
talking to you. You have become such a major part of my
life that I honestly don’t know what I would do without
you. Fuck, 23 hours has being complete hell so far, so I
don’t even want to begin to try to fathom my entire life
without you in it.

I let my mom read “Softly Dreaming” and she told me that I
would be the most ignorant and stupid person she knew if I
let you get away. Even after I told her that you had a
girlfriend she pointed out to me that if I wasn’t special
to you that you wouldn’t be able to write such a beautiful
poem for me. I am beginning to think that maybe I really
have been blessed. And I don’t want you sitting there
thinking, “GOD, she gives me too much fucking credit.” I
don’t. I don’t give you nearly enough in my eyes. I wish I
could explain just exactly how much you have done for me in
the short time that we have been talking. You have helped
me to get past the whole Jason thing. And you have without
a doubt been a major help to me in getting over Danny.

Okay, I am starting to ramble. I am going to get straight
to the point. I mean it when I say that I love you. And I
also mean it when I tell Nichole the things that I do.
Like, “I would marry him tomorrow if he asked me too.” I
don’t want you to take that the wrong way either. All I
mean is, if you ever decide that I am what you want don’t
hesitate to tell me. I will always be there waiting for
that day. I don’t mean that I am going to sit around and
wait without going out and having fun or dating others, but
if you came to me a year from now and said, “Zella, I love
you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you,”
don’t think that I would even have to give it a second
thought. You yourself said that you thought I was your
perfect soul mate, and I feel the same about you. I love
you, Palmer.
And that is the only way I know to explain or tell you how
I feel.

Well, I think I am going to go to bed now so that these 2
days I have to wait to get to talk to you again will go by
faster. Good night, sweet dreams think of me and I hope
that you had a good day today and that you have one
tomorrow too. I Love You!!! Always!!!


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