thouhgts of Sam
2001-11-16 04:25:26 (UTC)

10:20 p.m. on thursday night

Couldnt think of a title so I just did that. But then who
really cares what the title is..I mean it could be "monkey
fuck shit poop thrower" but it's really the content that
matters, I dont think the content will matter, but whatever
right. I know there are people that read this, but I dont
care anymore maybe it's a good thing, to hear how someone
else feels. I talked to joselin earlier, we had our
usual "spurt" of conversation. We talk but it's in
portions, and stuff and that's cause I almost always have a
distraction on my hands. If it's not josh its my mom
telling me there is something I need to do or some shit.
It buggs me that she always seems to find "something" for
me to do. I mean there isnt really much I have to do at
my house but for her to purposely to find things for me to
do is really an incovince. Ahhh I hate it. And I hate the
way josh can go from being a real cool guy to be a complete
ass to me. He appreciates nothing I do for him and he
never things of how I feel. I dont know though, I guess
I'm just kind of annoyed. And it seems that all of you out
there on the internet hear that alot from me but it's ok
cause that's all part of normal life. but if there is
anyone out there who reads this and you have advice on
nightmares pleas talk to name on AOL
is "ShameusLawson" I dont mind just tell me you read my
journal and I'll respond to you. I dont know maybe I am
looking for the anwser to my problem in all the wrong
places. I just need a day to do nothing. I mean I like my
friends and all but I think one day next week, I am gonna
be like you know what this, this is "Sam's" day and he is
gonna do what ever he feels like. I dont know maybe that's
all I need to just be with me for a day. Figure out what
the hell is going on in my confused little head. I mean
how the hell can I figure this whole nightmare thing out if
I dont know what's going on up there. I wish I had dumb
and dumber on DVD. I really wanna watch it right now, it
is such a great movie. I love it everytime I see it I
notice something I missed about it. It is one of the best
movies I have seen in my life, I wish I had in the madness
of king george too. Its one of those serious films. Its
one I saw with my dad a long time ago, back when I was
young, I mean I didnt really understand everything but
somehow I really enjoed that movie. Maybe I'll run and
rent that for myself tomorrow since I get out of school
early....oh wait I have no damn money...oh well there goes
that idea. but anyway I'm gonna finish this.