hey it's in my head wasting space!
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2001-11-16 02:46:59 (UTC)

just another day

Well here I am again. Another long repetitive day. No where
with Jeff yet. Starting to get a bit sad over that. I got
to talk to him for a second after classes but thats about
it. Said he was going to play some racketball with his best
friend Rob....I told him I'd give him a call and he said
alright. Called him around 6:40..no answer. Figured his
cell wasnt on him since they were playing ball so I called
about 10 minutes ago (9pm) and still no answer ..left a
brief msg. Not expecting a call back however. As much as I
would love to believe he would call back. Very first time I
called him he called me back but I usually am the one
dialing his number.
My best friend came over tonight to help me with the food
drive I am doing..no success with collecting a lot of food
from the community. Decided I will try her community
tomorrow when Im done with classes. Love her to death. Glad
she keeps my hopes up about everything. Been friends for
around 4 1/2 years now..another part of my life I'm proud
of. Never quite had the chance to keep that friend for life
from the first day of school or whatever..since my family
moved so much. 9 schools in my lifetime. Which is alright.
But I'm glad shes in my life.
Talked to another friend of mine tonight too. It's been a
week or so since I last spoke to her...was nice. We spoke
about her relationship with her on again off again
boyfriend. It's funny, I hated that guy pretty much but he
grows on you eventually. He's grown up a bit. He used to
treat her pretty shabbily but now hes getting better. I'm
glad. However she has grown a liking to Jeff's (yes my
obsession lol) best friend Rob. It brings up issues with
her Boyfriend but ohwell thats life. I wish life had a
remote control like a VCR ..pauserewindfastfwd. dont we
all? lol. She's amusing however. She can never stop saying
how much I make her laugh. I love making people laugh...its
in my goofy humor in doing so. Too bad I dont show that
side of me too often. I may not be shy but wow am I afraid
of being judged. I need to get over that and realize
everyone thinks like a regular person...just like me.
*sigh* Lifes so crazy.
Tomorrow seems like a dead end socially. Friday...I guess
you could say "the night out" but Jeffs going to a swimming
competition..so no night out for me I suppose. I feel so
empty over my situation with him. I wish I didn't. Is there
a way out? lol I hope so. I hate my mind being controled by
something so insignificant. I mean hes not insignificant..!
I want him to see himself as significant in my life now.
Hell hes on my mind 90% of the time. Someone was trying to
speak to me today and said that my mind wasn't there. Hah.
Well ofcourse not lol. Ohwell... I guess I'll wish myself
luck and take it from there for tomorrow. Never know where
the day will take me... till later ta ta