we all have choices in life, some of those choices are good
and some are bad, some are easy and some are hard. we have
to choose between one thing or another, but we always have
a choice. i have chosen to try to live, but what are the
extents of my choice? well, i havent gotten much support
from some of my friends. mark is definately being an
asshole because i wrote about him here and i will not show
him what i wrote because of how he over reacts. he always
assumes the worst. im sitting here feeling like shit
because i have no blood in my body well a dangerous level
where i can die, but he has a hissy fit about me doing
something i love? that something is writing. i have always
loved to read and write, ever since i was a baby. i
literally began talking at 8 months old. i was talking full
sentences, then i was reading at age 4. i was writing at
age 6. i think that i have worked to long and too hard on
my writing for one person to ruin it. it bugs me that he
automatically assumes that everything is about him. speak
about egocentric (or feeling the universe revolves around
you) mark is a prime example of egocentrism. anyways,
enough about him.
T is really worried about my blood its weird. i mean i
really like T and i really want to be with him, but i dont
know if that will happen, although it would be my dream
come true to marry him one day. i know it sounds funny, but
i love him as a friend and i dunno if i am in love with him
yet. anyways, life's a bitch.
i am really horny and cannot have sex or any kind or sexual
stimulation until my blood count and hemoglobin count is
higher. i dont want to die so i guess i will follow my
medication orders. it sucks but i have to do it.
tony has a girl he is interested in. oh well there goes my
tony but he will always be my friend. i always try to keep
friends with people i had some sort of attraction to.
i guess i need friends more than anything else. aaron is a
great guy. he told me how he got away with fingering this
girl at a party in public. hehe. nobody noticed what was
going on. aaron and i have become very close lately, and i
like it that way. we are friends he gives me advice and i
give him advice. hehe. mostly sex advice.
i havent heard from thomas in a long ass time, its been
like 6 months or so. anyways, i am so happy he has gained
weight. he is annorexic. i guess that just brings a smile
to my face.
i really just have to worry about my health at this point.
i really dont want to die, and that is the point it has
-damsel in distress