g ir l nex t d o or

Fire Lillies H2O
2001-11-15 08:30:44 (UTC)

birthday

I just realized I strangling on my natal cord. I guess it
wasn't clipped properly.

I finally interepted my dream from my elementry years. I
guess due to the repitious nature I recall it better than
most, or the variations of it. I am being chased by my
parents, and they turn to zombies. I can never escape nor
truly run. I will never be able to escape my parents. Not
even if I run away and never speak to them. I will still be
dangling from the womb. I am the only one who can let go,
but I feel like if I do, I will kill my mom. I feel like
she will wither and die. It is not me that I am concerned
about; but she. I am afraid some terrible hex will fall.

I also realized it was not my fault. I read about a girl
who filed rape charges against a person who took advantage
of her while drunk. There were even sexual advances that
were welcomed in her case. I am not at fault in the moment,
but I do blame myself for not seeing the red flags. Once
abused always abused.

I am scarred person. I wish to heal.

I AM seriously thinking of Greece. I truly am.
The warmth and the feta...and the sea.

I need to blossom and I can't wait much more.

I wish to divine myself from all material items, and flee.

Once I pay my debt.

Or at least one of them.

Much Love:
Girl Next Door