once again
2001-11-15 05:40:54 (UTC)


I talked to Shawn today. It was good. I got alot out of
my system. He apologized for not telling me he was fired
and said he was suspended and then fired. He still should
have told me. I told him that he needs to get a job quick
and February will come quicker than he thinks. He said he
realizes all of this and is working on getting a job right
now. He didn't owe anyone for a bag. He was supposed to
get one from the ladys' husband and decided not to and that
pissed the guy off. Shawn thought he had already left and
apparently he didn't. I told him that I'm weary about all
this actually happening...him and Chicago that is. He
asked me why I keep questioning him and I said because I've
had my fareshare of letdowns and I'm tired of not
protecting my self. I told him that until the day he
comes, I will ask and reask if I am what he wants and if he
is coming. He played our song and sang it to me. Jagged
Edge's "Promise". For the first time in a while I felt
really good about this. The simple fact that he put it in
while talking to me about something completely the opposite
and began singing all the words touched my heart. I feel
that he does think about me as much as Neeka says he does
and I think that he has some truth behind his words. Maybe
he's changing slowly...I don't know. But this pyscic will
help me and that's what I am looking forward to. I want
her to tell me the right things however because this might
be a waiste of my time otherwise. "I would be there...yes
I said. I'm gonna be there. Don't you know you're the
only one for me. I promise..."