Kdarlin

What is up with this stuff?????

Ok get this, I have to find a date for the 2001 Band
Banquet, and I have no clue whatsoever on who to ask....I'm
completely in the dark on this one. I mean I could go
alone, just go with friends, but of course the thing I want
to do is go with someone (I mean actually have a date!!!!
Man that would be a change.) There are a few guys that
stick out in my mind these days, but I don't really think I
have much of a chance with any of them....of course one has
a girlfriend, another is really shy (and of course I don't
want to scare him, another I just met and don't want to
freak him out, of course there is a guy in one of my
classes that I study with (but you know how those things
go), then there is an ex that emailed me the other day (but when I
called him back he didn't seem like he was very excited to hear from
me...so arg!!!(my word when I'm mad)), and finally there are some
friends but I kinda want this night to be sort of special (like last
year but I should probably keep dreaming)!!!!!!!

I completely don't understand anything that goes on in life
right now. I am so confused that it is becoming ridiculus,
and there doesn't seem to be much that is going to change
this. I haven't exactly figured out how a person can fall
in love with someone and completely neglect them, but I
also don't understand why every guy I fall for is never
interested in me at all. I just don't get it; it seems
like all the guys that I could possibly fall for and things
actually work out are either taken, gay, or not looking for
a relationship....which REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY
SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes I just wonder how everything
seems to work out for everyone else except for people like
me....the people that care for everyone and try their best
to just be nice. I'm not sure what is in store for me, but
whatever it is I hope it is much better than what is going
for me right now.

OK, enough of the depressing sh*t. My parents and my
little brother are coming up tomorrow for the Tiger Band
Pass In Review concert and I am actually ready to see them
because I haven't seen them in forever it seems. I am also
kinda ready for a break at home....my bed sounds really
nice right now....

Oh well, maybe I should just give up and let life lead me
instead of me trying to control life. I really need to
have a different view of myself, but I don't exactly know
how to change things. Oh well....I think my motto is now
going to be...just go day by day and get life over with
until things improve. Oh well....goodnight!