This Is What They Call Life
2001-11-15 00:05:20 (UTC)

-well. i'm lost. come find me-

Well. Everything today seems to be goin ok so far.
Shortened day @school. Everything is a-ok. Cept my friend
Jazmine who doesn't talk to me anymore. I think it's cuz
me n Deanna (my best friend @school) have become closer
than ever. It's just that I don't have that much patience
when it comes to Jazmine. I really wanna try to talk to
her again, like we did last year, it's that I only have one
class with her, and it's nearly impossible. Well. I am
happy still. John A.(my BF) is quitting smoking for me.
Um, Paul is cuttin down on drinking and smoking. Uhh.
What else....I really am beginning to think that I'm either:
A)-sheltering myself away from most of my friends or
B)-everyone is just walkin away from me
I don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I can't like
manage time for anything really anymore now that club
volleyball started. It's hard. I really love my friends
to death. I just wish I could be at their sides 24/7.


I WANT A VACATION. Away from everything. Just give me 5
days. Please. Away from this maddness.

Anyways. Um. For the past 11 months I had been fighting
against depression. Well, thanks to counseling at school,
Deanna, and John- I feel like it has practically gone
away. I feel good bout myself at least 80% of the time
now. As apposed to never in like January 01. I'm just glad
that things have turned out for the better. "Things happen
for a reason" Nikki P. said to me last year. And I guess
they sure have. I have found myself to be extremely happy
with John and actually RESPECTED!!! As apposed to my past
BFs- Chris 1 and 2 mostly. But I'm happy. And the past is