valentino da budapesti

the 19th cookbook
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2001-11-14 23:55:44 (UTC)

Natasha, sweet Natasha, come..

Natasha, sweet Natasha, come over to my house, come over
to my bed. She arrives breathing hard and shiny from riding
her bicycle. She arrives tired and tense from a day of
taking school too seriously. She lies on my bed and I give
her a long back massage. As she melts away, as she
disappears.
In most Romance novels, in most films, in most of
western culture, the theme of male hero overcoming the
chllenges set by the world, and overcoming the initial
resistance of the female lead is the norm. If my life is a
novel then at this point it doesn't seem to follow this well
established pattern. I had no difficuly conquering he
mysteries of Natasha. Rather it was her who selected me for
conquering. I went along for the ride because I had nothing
better to do. That is not to say that she is inconsequential
or disposable in any way; I learned a great deal about sex,
about women, about myself because of her. However, I do now
doubt if I could excert more than a feeble effort in order to
hold on to her. If life got in the way I could say;"Good-
bye," if she found someone else I could also say;"Good-bye."
This is what happens when there is an imbalance in the
proportion with which two people like each other. I hold her
closely but she locks me in her heart. She likes me
considerably more than I like her. Yet I don't know if the
practical aspects of our relationship are going to change
anytime soon; we see each other a few times a week (not so
much as to get sick of the other's company, and not so rarely
as to offend), we have plesant converstions, and the sex is
very good. A happy velocity with no significant change in
the forecast. But I do keep my eyes open and my smiles free
flowing, thinking always;" I love women."
This evening Natasha stays in my bed for a few hours
before going home. We have intercourse twice; the first time
I make love to N., the second time I fantasize about making
love to Harmony and her Hill Park Highschool tits.


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