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2001-11-14 23:18:38 (UTC)

oh god..

11.14.01 (( 6.09 pm
ahhh sorry i havent written in a LONG time. things have
been going on my life that are.. pretty hard to explain
right now so ill tell you later or tomorrow or something.
well so far im at the top of all my classes except for
english. I LOVE STUDY SKILLS! I GOT a 100% (A ) ON MY
REPORT CARD! LMAO. um math i have an a average and so do i
have in social studies. i think i have an a or a in
science and hacs i know i have an a or a at least and band
i think i have an a and gym i think i have an a cause thats
what it said on the interm report. english i probably have
things ranging from a b- to a a- ahh.
you know
i think bee and linda hate me again
you see...well i dunno if i told you already but
linda me and bee had a fight
and linda is on bees side
and im just alone. but anyway
they werent talking to me
and all i wanted to know was if i was doing something
and bee told me the password to her sn because she made me
make some of hers
and like i got into a few of her sns
and pretended to be her
and i talked to linda
she told me that summer (I) was annoying
and i lived in a 11 year old world
and her and bee were more experianced (AT WHAT? GOING OUT?
i told kandi and she agreed that linda was making a stupid
and then
bee came online
and so i went on another sn cause it was kicking me off
cause bee was on it
and like
bee was like who are you?
and i gave her some kinds of weird hints
and shes like SUMMER?!
and im like you figured this out when
and she asked why i was doing this
and i told her
and i got so mad
i said that ill pray to god i dont ever speak to them
i think its working
i dont feel right though
after that a little
we started talking A LITTLE BIT
and then a couple days after
were ignoring each other again
we've known each other for probably 3 years now
and it sucks
it just sucks.
i feel so empty
because the only people i talk to online are
lizybeth kandice and hillary
and it doesnt feel right
because i know i had a ton of friends like months ago
now theyre just leaving
everytime i go on aim
and i see lindas and bees sns
i feel like im an idiot
and i know
somethings wrong
and i want to go on one of bees sns again
because i want to actually find out what they want from me
its still now right.
oh. bee got this new sn and a new email
she emailed me and some other people her new email
and part of it was her new sn
that she didnt tell me about
i didnt see her on her old sn so i was scared/worried
that she got hurt or something or was on a trip and didnt
come back
its hard because of what has happened to think of someone
you love and not hearing from them for a long time
and so i entered the sn in the buddy list
i cant believe it
she was the one who always gave me advice when i needed it
and she was the one who gave me the courage to be braver
and believe in myself
shes the one who held me back from being goth
shes the one who was with me whenever i needed it
she was the one who cared about me the most
when i was in an accident..well not really it was fake
all i wanted to know was if they cared about me
and bee was one of them
she made a lot of people leave a candle for me
she made rooms of notes and gifts
its not right
she was my best friend
and i still want to be her friend
i still think
lindas trying to take her away from me
she acts so *special* and she has dreams that shes gonna be
i mean i know its great to have dreams. but the way shes
acting now.. its like...shes judging people of how old they
and what they talk about
so what i talk about harry potter
she did too
if she was nice
shed realize that the only way we couldve meet
was at harry potter's
we all met there
and now
its just a bunch of 11 year old ####.
yea like im going to take that.
god damn it.


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