I Debbie...
2001-03-25 03:50:16 (UTC)

The First Of Many Indications Of Life

This is my first diary session. I have missed this and am
glad to have it back. So here goes. I am so unhappy.
Actually what I mean is that I am not feeling fullfilled. I
feel that my life should be more than a series of highs and
lows with a sprinkling of mental farts. Every time I start
to feel better about my life and the components I get kicked
in the crotch. That is, if I had a crotch to get kicked
in,being a girl. I get a new position at work, with an
awesome manager,then she quits. Brian is doing well at work
then he gets laid off,lies to me about getting a new job,we
almost lose our apartment,we do lose our car,and now our
other car has been in the shop for two weeks. The idiots at
the shop who don't seem to know one end from the other are
jacking us around big time. In the meantime he has a hard
time getting to work,I walk everywhere and I haven't been
out to see my friends in what seems like years. I know that
life could be worse. Jeezeo, I just had a thought. I hope
the car is working by the 7th b/c that is my Walkathon for
MS. That would take the cake...These people who can't walk
and I can't walk b/c I have no car to get me to the place to
walk. Talk about irony...Not to mention this next month was
supposed to be my my writting course. Oh and did I forget to
mention that I have had two checks bounce ib directly b/c of
the car thing. I could really use Ed to talk to but he moved
in with Paul and I don't know his new number. I just don't
know sometimes what life means by our existance. It seems so
futile sometimes,ya know? Is everything relative because we
are trying to see the good in everything or do we just say
that to get us through the days until we just either give up
or get even.And I get so frustrated with him because he just
wants to sit there watching TV or looking at data on the
friging computer instead of being with people who just may
make him feel better. But that is an old arguement and a
long tired story. And so it goes..I Debbie