anomaly

epiphany
2001-03-25 01:43:55 (UTC)

Today when I got off of work I..

Today when I got off of work I got some well needed rest.
I was so tired. Lisa wanted me to take her and do some
running and I said yes but I called her back and she must
of sensed I was going to say that I was too tired so she
said it for me.
So I laid around and did nothing. I have not done
that in a long time. I should have studied or something
but I just did not have the energy.
Lynnell(Chicago) called today and I was kind of
shocked because I did not expect to hear from her this
weekend because I refused to come to Chicago. I really did
not have a conversation for her, things have went down hill
quickly. That's fine because I have so much on my plate I
do not even care anymore.
I wanted to have sex so bad today with Lisa. She
called me and started fussing about her day and it turned
me so completly off. I knew if I saw her today it would be
later on tonight but I do not feel like hearing any sob
story. I am feeling to good to let anybody get me down,
not even Lisa.
The last time I saw Lisa she was so into me it was
unbelieveble. She cooked me dinner and we talked(not about
anything specific) but it was nice conversate. We cuddled
and she rubbed me all over. I love to be touched and it
doesn't have to be sexual. For some reason that night she
seemed to remember that I like hands on as much as
possible. Then she went down on me. It was so good. The
way she was into me was so sexy. She put me on her lap and
picked me up and gave me a big hug and told me how
beautiful I am. Then I laid my head on her lap and went to
sleep until it was time for me to go to work. She wanted
to have sex but I did not. I just wanted her to do just
what she did and nothing more.
I don't know where I am right now in my life but I can
say that I am going to be happy and focus on the day and
not worry about tomorrow or other peoples feelings like I
been doing. It is time to focus on me and my life.
This week has shed much light on my problems.