silverfairywings

Birdy: Where am I now?
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2001-03-24 23:42:45 (UTC)

So here I am. Yet another..

So here I am. Yet another online diary, but I have a
feeling this one will be my favorite. No pretty, gaudy,
bright backrounds. So now, people will pay attention to my
words and not my settings. I am fourteen. They call me
Birdy. "They" referring to classmates. People who think
they know me but have no clue. I must say, I put on a great
cover. I hide behind my smiles, you know. My laughter is my
shield, protecting me from pain and hurt. But nobody
understands that. "Do you ever stop laughing?" they always
ask. Not that it's any of their business, yes. I stop
laughing every day. I never start laughing...inside.

Laugh Birdy: A poem

Yes, they call me Birdy, funny as can be.
Laughing, laughing, laughing shrilly in the willow tree.
“Please stop laughing Birdy, your too shrill and loud. “
“Why do you laugh so shrilly? You should blend in with the
crowd.”
“Your the weirdest Birdy. What makes you act that way? “
They look at me expectantly, but I laugh them all away.
I laugh to hide the embarrassment, I laugh even though it
hurts.
I ‘d laugh if someone spit on me, or pushed me in the dirt.
I’d laugh, and laugh ‘till I was blue, and couldn’t laugh
anymore.
I’d laugh until I lie curled up, crying on the floor.
I laugh to cover what I think, the rage, the pitty, the
pain.
I’d laugh on a sunny day and I’d laugh through the rain.
I laugh to make others feel good, I laugh just for fun.
I laugh when there is a reason, I laugh when there isn’t
one.
Laughing eases tension, laughing stops the pain.
Laughing makes it easier for the sun to come again.


This is how I feel. Welcome to my world. This is my life.
Sometimes, it's not so bad. Sometimes, rays of sun shine
through the clouds of dread....But not too often. Hail and
welcome. This is my mind. Enjoy.


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