Courtney's Pages
2001-11-14 06:35:02 (UTC)


I was looking at what others had wrote and I found Aby's
diary. It's called i'm 14. At first I wanted to read it
because I am curious about what goes on in the life of a
fourteen year old these days and if it is anything like
what it was like when I was 14. I know it was only 5 years
ago, but the world is crazy and things change. Well, this
girl reminded me a whole lot of my self when I was her
age. She is way into music, you can tell by the way she
writes about what she is listening to. She is head over
heels in love with this guy named Ed. That reminds me of
the Ryan times. Yeah times 3 times 6 months. She is very
angry at things. I hated my parents when I was her age and
my parents weren't going thru a divorce. I didn't like my
siblings too much. I wondered who my true friends were.
And like her I was suicidal. I also cut my arms.
Fortunately she doesn't do that. Well maybe she does but I
think she would write about it if she did. I tried to
contact her and I really hope that she will email me
because I really want to tell her that she can and will
have a beautiful future ahead of her if she just leaves the
blackness that surrounds her and looks to the happy times
that she has had and speculate on all the happy times that
she can have in the future. I pulled through and I thought
there was no hope for me. I always thought that nobody
cared about me and that I shouldn't bother to ask for help
because nobody cared enough to listen to me. I want to
listen. I want to help if I can. Hope that she will let
me. I know I sound like a mom, but that is what I was born
to be I think. I cant think of any other job that would
suit me that well. I hope she will email me. I want to
make a difference. Am I wasting my time? I dont know! Is
it worth it to even try? Yes. If you dont at least try,
you will never know what is going to happen