Sarahbellum

The meanderings of a mind
2001-11-14 05:48:31 (UTC)

down low

Today was wretched. I forgot how to smile. I almost cried
several different times, and I had no reason. Yesterday my
mom ruined my birthday. It was as perfect as it could get
for a while, and then my mom started in on me for no
reason. It hurt. If she had to yell at me, she could have
waited a day. A birthday is a very special day. The
beginning of a life, not as a teenager, and it had a dark
cloud hovering over it. My boyfriend is my savior. He
pushes the clouds away, and holds me through the rains. I
can't thank him. I don't have the words. I think he
understands that some days you just scrape the bottom and
you don't know why. I know he'll be there to hold me, no
matter if i'm smiling or crying. He loves me when my face
turns red and my eyes are bloodshot and glossy with tears.
I don't think anyone can know how stressed I am about the
end of this semester. I have so much to do. It sucks. I
have a huge semester long research project due the day
after tomorrow....I haven't started. I don't know where to
begin. I'm about to read on the novel I have to introduce
to my class after thanksgiving cause it has a kazillion
pages and I know I won't get anything done on
Thanksgiving. When does it end?