I'm a girl, not a band!!!
2001-11-14 03:10:15 (UTC)


Hello again. It's been a bit, I know. Well, I was reading
the journal of a friend named Jamie, and one of her
questions was "What is passion?" I used to say that it's
something that you cannot live without. Now, I've rethought
that. I think a passion is something that you can never
bored with, be it a thing, or an idea, or another person. I
like that definition much better. Maybe I'll change it, who

I've been kinda lonely lately. Not hugely, but enough to
think something is funny and realize that I don't have
anyone to share it with. Sure, I have my family, but that's
not what I mean. I took my father to work today, and he was
talking to my brother about Christmas movies. My Dad has a
couple of Christmas movies that he watches every year.
Starting with Little Lord Fauntleroy, then Santa Claus, The
Movie, The Grinch, and ending up with The Santa Clause. He
said that he had to watch them all by himself last year and
was sad. The next comment out of his mouth was "I can't
wait until I have grandchildren, because they will watch my
movies with me." Just a passing comment, I know, but it hit
me HARD. The wandering what-ifs grabbed me and held me
fast. What if I never meet that someone? What if I never
have kids? What if......................? I'm way too young
to even consider settling down with someone, but I'd like
that stability. For once, I'd like to be loved back. For

My mouth still hurts. It's getting better though. Have you
ever noticed how most people write about the crap in their
lives on here? I have, although I have done the same thing.
Just an observation.

Here's another observation: I really don't like poetry. I'm
probably the only girl I know who doesn't, but I could care
less. I mean, it's only part of a thought, and I like to
know the story of where that poem came from. I really don't
care. I skip over poems and just move on. I couldn't care
less. I don't pour over dreary prose and ponder a deeper
meaning. Just tell me what you're thinking, I don't need it
in iambic pentameter. If you write poetry, I don't have a
problem with that either. I would just rather not read it.
I think that poetry writing is a private thing, like going
to the bathroom. For you and you alone. So there, it's out
in the open now. And I feel cleansed.