All on the table
2001-03-24 17:21:46 (UTC)

I m just holding on right now...

I'm just holding on right now.

My next appointment with Richard is more than a week
away, and I'm waiting for that session before I do
anything else.

I'm still very uneasy here at the house. I'm being
successful so far in not just exploding at Ann, but that's
what I want to do. She interrupted me in the middle of
balancing my checkbook to tell me some story she had
just heard on the radio, and I took it. I should have
calmly requested that she not interrupt me without
asking permission, but I don't care enough to bother. At
least I didn't scream at her about how once again, she
demonstrated that in HER house, she can say whatever
she wants whenever she wants it, but woe to anyone
who interrupts her television shows, her book keeping,
her cooking, her piano practicing, her piano lessons, or
her reading... I know that once I start into a discussion
like that, I won't stop until I've done serious emotional
damage. And then I'll grab my stuff and leave.

As much as I want to leave, Richard told me that's not
the way. That will just make a bad relationship
between us worse, and that will put Kristine in a really
bad situation. So, Richard, I trust you, and I'm
continuing to wait.

I hope I can make it for another week and the weekend
that follows. I'll probably have to wait more after that,
though. Richard is on Monday, and Ann's parents come
to visit us on Wednesday and leave on Sunday. That
would really be very unfair to Ann for me to walk out on
her the day before her parent's come - especially as
cold and unsupportive as they are.

So I'll wait and behave... and pray a lot...

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