beet

Joining the real world - sign here
2001-11-13 19:52:17 (UTC)

Mood swings and roundabouts

OK so I stole the title from a Wildhearts song, sue me.
Mundane things:

My car is still playing up (I set it on fire by mistake
last night!)

Forgot to pay credit card again.

Oh bugger the dull stuff. I visited Edinburgh at the
weekend. I only got to spend one night there and had to
drive 600 miles to get there but it was so good. I met my
friends and had a great time. Now of course I miss them
like crazy. Things with girlfriend are going ok, not as
bad as they have. I have this nagging feeling that I'm
going to screw her up really bad. She really needs me at
the moment, where as I am not a needing person. If I'm in
a tough spot (now almost counts) I draw into myself and
become v. self sufficient. The thing is I don't want to
hurt her and want her to be happy and I even want spend
some time with her. I don't see a future in it though. I
don't see a good reason to end it either. I have a nasty
feeling that the only reason I'm going to have to end it is
if I meet someone else. Which is really shitty. So the
plan? Carry on following the path of least resistance like
the lazy sod that I am. Wallow wallow blah blah.

The people I hang out with here aren't wierd enough.
Mundane. I went into work the other day with the previous
nights nail varnish on, fully intending to take it off when
i got in. It stopped all work in my office and the two
adjacent offices. People coming in saying "are you
gay/transvestite?" people there had never seen a man
wearing nail polish, and these guys are 50ish. You'd
expect them to have seen some of the world. I'm living in
a county of small minded, inbred, stay at homes. I'm
already planning my next career move. AWAY.

A couple of weeks ago one of the guys from work had a
friend from home round, she came out with us all to the
pub. We got on really well. Nothing more than that, just
thought I'd let you/me know. Hmmmmmmm.

Screw this self analysis stuff, I'm off.

Listening to: Pitchshifter




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