ergot and the ju ju queen

antipodean delights...
2001-11-13 14:43:35 (UTC)

confessions and confidences...


Don't you love being best friends, and being able to
confess and confide in each other? :)

So, this feeling in your water.. (lol).. what exactly is it
that you think is happening?

And if it's just flirtation, and excitement, or if it's mad
passionate cyber sex.. does any of it bother you?

You said you weren't prepared.. your thoughts weren't
prepared, as we were talking about it. That's okay, neither
were mine.

I'm not sure why certain things bother me. Why other things
don't. Why some things just are plain "wrong" in my
thinking, and other things I will do, and think.. and I
don't really see it as "wrong". I don't know why..

Anyhow, I am honest with you. You're my best friend. And
I'm glad I've got you to confide in. And so I'll confide
here.. (on a widely read diary page.. lol) that yes, I am
intrigued by him. Yes he makes me feel good, exciting,
mysterious. And yes, I am looking forward to meeting him.

NOT because of any sexual potential!! No matter what you
say that men are like (and okay, I'll be totally objective,
and say yes, he is interested..) you aren't factoring in
how *I* am.

I have not, and do not, make a habit of sleeping with
anyone who comes along and fancies me. wayl?? I'm 28,
ergot, and only been with one man. That should tell you
something about how I am? :)

And okay, I've changed.. I'm open to new things, I've done
new things.. I've experimented so much, with you. (and
loved it..) But I'm still essentially me. And of course, I
am in control of myself. :) I'm quick, I'm smart.. I'm
lightning.. lol So please don't worry. I shall take the
utmost care. And I'm not going to do anything silly. I
promise. :)

I really do think he is a trustworthy person, and I do
think it's going to be fun. Meeting, having a secret agent
rendezvous. Coffee. A spot of sightseeing maybe. And it
will be fun. :) And that will be that. (He suggested the

"So I had this crazy idea/fantasy (it痴 clean, don稚
worry). For fun, you and I could dress up and crash an
embassy party. Embassies always have parties, and they are
so big, no one knows who should be there, and they have
great hors douvres , (don稚 know how to spell) and we
could walk around and act important and dance and be all
elegant. It would be fun, and very secret agentish, I
think. Besides, if I did something like that, I would need
a date, and since I don稚 know anyone in Australia but
you.... "

See? it's all clean fun.. :)

Anyhow. Honesty. (I won't go into it here, how I feel about
you.. this isn't about you and me. Right? You want to know
how I feel about him. So.. here goes:

I do like him. He intrigues me. He woos me. (You're right
about that.) He says I'm his sunshine. He says things like
this: "you are my sunshine, you are my heroin, you are
always on my mind and in my heart." I have flirted.
Mildly. A few innuendoes here and there. I guess I
shouldn't have. But it is fun. And I always come clean and
he knows where I stand with things. But having said that, I
do like him. And yes, I would call him a friend. :)

Obviously nothing closely resembling us. That goes without
saying. I'll never find, nor look for, someone to be like
you, in my life. There's only one ergot to the juju queen.
Only one Agent B. for Ms T. etc etc.. :) We both know that.
Didn't need to be said again here, which I just did. We are
unique. I'm not worried that you and i will ever stop being
best friends. That's a constant. :) And I love that. And I
love you. Olive juice. ILY. f3. :) see? who else would
even understand our language? lol

Anyhow.. enough said. Just wanted to get some of this out
of my head.

Not sure if anything's clearer. But I feel better for
having confided. Confessed. Whatever... :)