Just a guy

Logic of the Insane
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2001-11-13 06:00:45 (UTC)

It was a Dream. . .

Well here I am again, this is only my third entry, and I
have already said more than most of my friends know about
me. Today was a holiday, and it also rained like crazy,
making it an absolutely great day! I did. . .nothing! I
took naps, during the day!, and it was great! However,
during one of the longer naps, I had this dream, my dreams
usually consist of me being great at something like sports
or me saving someone and dying in the process or something
like that, but anyway, this dream was different.
I was at a house that I haven't lived, or even
steped foot inside of, since I was in the 8th grade(3
years). No adults, just my Theater Team friends. So I'm
walking around talking with various people, and some of
them are in costume and make-up from the play that we are
currently producing. That's not the point, or it could be,
I 'm not very good at deciphering meanings to dreams(Can
you tell?) But anyway, I walk into the den/family room
(however, when I lived there it was my grandmothers room.)
Did I mention that 8th grade was the happiest time of my
life? It was and I was so sad when I had to move, I still
love that house, and I want to move back someday. Back to
the dream:
When I walk in, Shelly is sitting on the couch
watching Nick at Night(do they still have that?) She looked
up at me with her gorgeous blue eyes and her astoundingly
beautiful smile shone like somesort of. . .well, that's
enough of that. Anyway, I sat down next to her and she
turned off the TV. The door shut itself(????) at least
that's how I took it, but all I know is that it slammed
shut. I asked her if she still had the letter that I gave
her at graduation. She said yes and pulled it out from
under one of my grandma's pillows(I miss those pillows) and
handed it to me. I didn't take it, but simply replied, read
it. She opened it, and took out the letter and read. First
my poem, and a tear rolled from one of those beautiful eyes
of hers. Then she turned it over and read my letter. I
stared at her face and then she looked up, laid the letter
on the table and gave me the biggest and most welcomed hug
of my life.
She pulled her body away, and looked at my face. She
put her hand to it, and hugged me again. At this point, I
didn't know what to make of it. The hug lasted for what
seemed like 15 min. and she had a silent cry the whole
time. Then she looked at me again, wiped the tears from her
eyes and said "This is the sweetest thing, you are the
sweetest friend I've ever had." She then hugged me again,
but what I took from her comment was that we were only
friends. When she looked back at me however, she gave me my
first "real" kiss.
I hate it that whenever a dream gets to the point of
being a perfect life for me, it ends. Because at that
moment, I woke up. A bittersweet moment. As I woke, I was
under the impession that it was real. But as I awoke in the
same bed in the same house, I became very. . .I cannot
think of a word to describe how I felt, but whatever the
word may be, a "very" belongs in front of it. I laid there
for about 5 min. re-living the dream, and hoping that soon
it would really come to pass, but I am still here, the
drama freak, the loser, the guy who stopped caring what
others say about him yet secretly takes it to heart each
time it happens. Yet I must press on, push back, because if
it is true what they say about dreams really being
predictions, then I have something to look forward, at
least that one thing.
So I will wait. . .Till next time.

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