epikivel

Shards
2001-11-13 04:44:06 (UTC)

Irrational Backstabber Babble

It is a sad, sad day. We might close the coffee shop. We might close the shop
because we are fucking human beings and we need a break every once in awhile
and most people are ungrateful bastards. We might close the shop because
people who claim to be our friends and expect us to do anything and everything
for them get pissed off when their routine is broken.

We went to Nebraska. We had the oppurtunity of a lifetime...to fly to Nebraska
on a private jet, stay for free in a nice ranch house, get to play with all the animals
and do all sorts of awesome things and meet incredible people, get to eat
wholesome home-cooked meals all weekend, and not have to pay a cent...all it
meant was missing a few days of class and getting a few people to cover all the
shifts. I admit, the shifts were not covered well...we left on a whim, in a
second...We were invited to go at midnight and got on the plane seven hours
later, and that did not leave time for sufficient planning...we called two girls who
sometimes work also and said come in whenever you can, and they told us they
could do most of the weekend, and so we were opened sometimes, but not our
set hours. And everyone was pissed.

We're not a normal business. I'd say normal business is cold, icy, impersonal, and
not altogether too friendly. But our business...these people think we are their
friends, they bitch about their problems, their jobs, everything...we know people's
situations so sometimes we give them stuff for free, we help them out, we do
what we can. I keep saying 'we', but to clarify, it's not my business. It's my sister's
business. But I work there and I am there most of my day, and her fiance runs it
too, and our other friend works there. So that makes four. They all go to school.
I'm going soon. They all have very much work to do, very much stress, things to
worry about. So this oppurtunity, to get away for a weekend from all of that, to
escape all the bullshit...it sounds pretty tempting...and I'm not sure anyone else
here can honestly say they would have passed up that oppurtunity had it come to
them.

Example:

A woman comes in to the shop pretty much daily and spends much of her time
there. She doesn't buy much. She is a nanny who takes care of someone else's
fairly new baby, and has a small child of her own. So basically, we babysit her
kids while she sits and reads for hours and ignores them. I know she does not
make that much money. So I always give her kid stuff, some grapes, some chips,
some candy. He expects it now and sometimes rudely demands it. I comply.
It's not my place to discipline her children and risk losing a customer that is my
sister's...and it's not my fault if she doesn't know what is going on and how her child
behaves. Not my problem at all. But this woman...she tells me her problems,
what she is worried about, how she doesn't have enough money to get her
husband something for his birthday...personal things, things you tell a friend. And I
do everything for her, to make her time better, to make her comfortable, blah blah
blah. And we go to fucking Nebraska and she bitches all weekend to the workers,
and to the other customers, who in turn tell us. If she was really our friend, wouldn't
she be happy that we got to do this?! We were only gone for four days! Can't
people go without fucking coffee for four days? Or is she really pissed off that she
had nowhere that will tolerate her annoying children, that she had no place where
people will let her keep a tab and give her stuff for free, that she had no place to
go where the people will let her talk as much as she wants.

All the stories are like that...I am really upset about this. I didn't realize that people
were so...fucked up...that they can't even put themselves in someone else's
position, that they can't even understand, that they are so wrapped up in their own
little lives that they can't possibly see a reason for someone else to disturb them.

Arrrgghh I'm a terrible person and I know it, but I am just angry right now. Not
even for myself, just for my sister and everyone, because they work so incredibly
hard to run the shop and they still excel in school and it amazes me how much stuff
they have to do, and all they wanted was a nice relaxing weekend and they have
to come home to a bunch of ingrates.

I hate when everyone is all upset and I can't figure out for the life of me what the
big deal is. I just want to be back in Nebraska, talking to Ckye about hunting and
learning about his life Montana, instead of here in this shithole, waiting for my
boyfriend to come online and knowing he's out having fun and doesn't give a shit
about talking to me or not, feeling bad for everyone, being angry...ugh! Too many
bad emotions and too much tiredness. I'm in such a cranky mood and I'm gonna
stay up late and wait for Bonehead and he'll either not come online and I'll feel
stupid, or he'll come online and something will go terribly wrong, because that is
how this night is shaping up. But I'm gonna show it, I'm gonna get off right now
and get a good night's sleep, and realize how irrational I'm being in the morning.
La la la.




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