*blank stare*
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2001-11-13 04:09:31 (UTC)

This Is The Closest Things Ever Get to Normal

Today was a good day... went to a movie with Karl
(Monsters Inc, if you really want to know), and then we
went to Cafe on the Corner, where he ran into an old friend
of his, who sat and talked with us for awhile on the
current state of the country (IE, the war, in case you've
been in a coma the past 2 months). She was quite nice, wish
I could remember her name... oh well. Around 3 I brought
Karl back to UNH, came home, and proceeded to do not much
of anything until hollowing out the spare bedroom that used
to be my room. (It was messy and cold and smells funny... I
dont think that's good) then Maria, Kevin and I went out to
play pool at Buster's... on the way in, who did we see
leaving but Brent and Garry... oh JOY. They peeled out of
the parking lot shortly thereafter and we went in, seeing
Jen Marcotte, who is a nice girl that I know only vaguely
and...to my happy surprise... NOAH! I've missed him SO
much, and I haven't actually hung out with him in like
forever... me Maria and Kevin were only a table away from
them, so we talked while playing. I played Maria, Kevin and
Noah and won all 3 games... *feels special*...
Last night, (yes I know I am going bass- ackwards here,
shut up) Maria, Eric, Andy, Frances and I hung out for
awhile... things seem to be allright between Frances and I
again *sigh of relief* he hadn't really cared much for what
he'd read in one or two of my previous journal entries
(don't blame him at all) and we kind of had it out a little
while talking online... but I convinced him to let me pick
him up because I really wanted to see him, and when I did
see him, things (to me, anyway) were okay. He admitted he
was glad he had seen me as well, so I'll take that as a
good sign. He also told me that from now until I'm gone,
he's going to blatently ignore anything I or anyone else
says about my moving to Florida. (55 days!) When dropping
him off, I asked if that meant that I couldn't even say
goodbye to him the day before I leave. He said that would
be all right. I don't honestly think he'll be able to
forget or ignore the fact that I'm going, since I talk
about it all the time (due to excitement, nervousness, and
impatience) in front of him and to him, but if he wants to
try to forget so he can be happier while I am here, I'm not
about to try and stop him. Sometimes I wonder if I should
try to forget about it until it actually happens, as well,
but I can't, whether because it's me moving or because
that's just how I am, I can't tell. Doesn't matter, the
result is the same. The only thing that worries me is that
if Frances really does make himself forget I'm leaving
until the day I actually go, that it will be harder for him
once I'm gone. You can try to deny reality, but sometimes
it smacks you right in the face when you ignore it, and I
have the feeling this is what's going to happen to him.
I guess I know how he feels, though. When my friend
Kelly moved to Pennsylvania, I cried my heart out for a
week both before and after she left. I still cry over
Kissy, and the only reason I didn't cry when he left was
because I didn't know he was going till he was gone. It's
not easy to say goodbye, not for him, not for me, and I
doubt it will be for Jake, or Mike, or Maria. For some
reason I feel like I'm going to have a harder time saying
goodbye to the guys than Maria... I think because my
friendship with the guys is still new, and I'm afraid I
might lose them after I move, whereas I know I won't lose
Maria. I hope that when I go, I'll have all of them
together at the same time. I'd like to say goodbye to all
of them the same day I leave, so I won't have to cry myself
to sleep the night before. I'm going to miss them so
much... but enough about that already. I'm sure everyone is
long past bored with my moving talk. *looks at the crowd*
I miss Mike. A lot.
Yeah, that was random. But being as I'd seen him almost
every day for like 2 straight months, not seeing him for 3
days is wierd to me. I hope he comes back soon.
I miss all of them, actually.
I'm pathetic...
Oh well, Maria and Noah are in the other room watching
Hannibal... guess I'll go join them. Peace, y'all
Current Music: Here Comes The Rain Again... Cruxshadows
(Frances got me addicted)
p.s. My other friend Mike has been reading this, so I'ma
give a shot out to him... Hi, Mike! :)