i'm kinda worried. darren lives in queens...thats where the
whole thing happened this morning. shit, i'm probably not
going to talk to him for a while. thank god shoe didn't go
out there last night, i'd be freaking out. i talked to my
big sister today, she's in the marines and as far as she
knows they don't need her just yet. she's on active duty
but she's also in school so either way she doesn't have to
go anywhere until she graduates in may. mark apparently got
sent to okinawa, japan the other day. i'm hoping he'll be
okay. dan hung out last night and was talking about his
friend who's in the marines, some security guard from the
mall. he saw him the other day and his friend said, "i'm
getting dropped in afghanistan in a few days with 49 other
guys. this might be the last time you see me." scary shit.
i talked to shoe for a while today. things were a little
weird at first, he was kinda pissy about the fact that i
kinda blew him off the other night. he put me in a weird
situation, he asked me to blow off jacki and brett for a
night and go to some party in medford with him and casey.
jacki and brett miss the both of them alot, and he
specifically said, "no jacki and no brett, we don't like
them." jacki and brett don't know that their presence is
unwanted. although i was talking to brett and he put things
in perspective for me by telling me about his aunt, her
unborn child has all its organs on the outside of its body
and will not survive. she has to abort it. what makes
things worse is that yesterday she had to be a pallbearer
at a funeral, so as she's carrying this coffin she's
thinking about the baby inside of her that has to be
aborted in a few days. kinda made my problems seem really
trivial and insignificant. it made me feel selfish, like
what the fuck am i bitching about? i wanted to tell shoe
that story today when he was whining about how much his
life sucks, but i couldn't because that's personal brett
he saw a shooting star last night after he left my house.
he was lying on his car in his driveway, drinking a beer,
asking god to cut him a break for once.
Nocturnal1954 [4:47 AM]: although, something cool happened
when I got home
Nofie82 [4:48 AM]: whats that
Nocturnal1954 [4:48 AM]: when I got out of my car I sat on
the trunk and kinda layed down with my head on the roof of
the car, looking up at the sky
Nocturnal1954 [4:49 AM]: cracked open a beer
Nocturnal1954 [4:50 AM]: took a deep breath and a swig and
said, "God what the fuck are you thinkng! I'm a nice
kid...you can stop being an asshole!"
Nocturnal1954 [4:51 AM]: I took another sip and
said, "what's a matter cat got yer tongue"
Nocturnal1954 [4:51 AM]: and here's the cool part
Nocturnal1954 [4:52 AM]: right after the 3rd swig I saw a
star shoot across the sky as far as I could see without my
vision being blocked by any trees
Nofie82 [4:52 AM]: thats amazing
Nocturnal1954 [4:54 AM]: I heard a voice in my head
say, "what's the matter now Brett? Cat got YOUR tongue?"
and I got all freaked out, but I felt amazingly calm at the
Nocturnal1954 [4:55 AM]: like there was nothing in the
entire world that could bather me, if someone came up to me
and shot me in the face...I really wouldn't have cared a
Nocturnal1954 [4:56 AM]: I lloked back up at the sky and
said, "ok good answer, yer freakin me out so I'm just gonna
go in the house now"