a little piece of me
2001-11-12 22:51:19 (UTC)


there is this evil guy in my art class named conrad. he is
one of two guys in there, and he thinks he's god's gift to
women. no one has ever gotten on my nerves merely by
breathing, until him. ooooooh, i can't stand this guy.
his paintings suck ass. when my birds shit, it looks
better than anything he has done thus far. today he was
parading around the room, checking out other people's
paintings. he was sooo desperate for someone to compliment
him on his painting. as he was walking back, he cracked
his elbow on an easle. lmao! i really did laugh at him,
and he gave me a dirty look. he was like, you think my
pain is funny? i was like, hell yes, i'm a sadist. rofl.
he didn't know what to say (that's amazing since he ALWAYS
has something to say...he talks just to hear his own
voice...hate that guy...)!!! see, i don't say much if
anything in that class, so when i do say something, it
surprises people. hm. guess you had to be there. i
thought it was fucking hilarious.

anyway, several people from my art class said my painting
looked good (conrad included...hmph). i finished it today,
but i think it's aweful! i know what i wanted to do, i
just couldn't do it!!! very frustrating. i got more
stretcher bars today, too. our teacher is making us do a
fourth painting, and we now have less than 3 weeks of class
time to do it. i know where i'll be for the rest of the
year. hell, i still havent finished the first one! i
really need to do that. i don't have class this thurs, so
i will do it then. no excuses this time!!!

in other news, i have a migraine again today. it started
in last night, and it's still here today. i was getting
really sick earlier. i thought i was going to throw up,
and i was a little dizzy. this is the second one in the
past few days. it's only going to get worse from
here...finals are coming up, and i have a lot of shit due,
so i'm going to be stressed out. that always gives me more
migraines. i built up a tolerance to several over the
counter as well as prescription drugs for migraines, so
nothing helps. well, sleep does if i can actually get to
sleep. i took several sleeping pills last night to help.
i try to stay away from those, due to my past addiction,
but last night couldn't be helped. now i'm out of them,
and i'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. hmm..i

well i fucked up good and proper last night. yep. sure
as hell did. i told brett i was in love with him. now
something has changed. i can feel it. it's not a good
something, either. i wish i could take it back, but i know
that's not possible. i guess i shouldn't feel aweful for
being in love with someone, but i do. his response was a
little hurtful (it's definitely not what anyone would
think...except heather of course, cause she already
knows!), and i can already feel myself withdrawing from him
a little. i don't want to, but it's habit. i've been hurt
so many times before (yeah yeah, whine whine bitch bitch)
and i don't think i could go through it again. sucks, too,
cause i really really loved him...

on that high note, i'm gone.