Same Drug
2001-11-12 22:16:18 (UTC)

half an hour later a diff mood

yeah i feel so unwanted now. i should fone andy i cant be
bothered if i dont it will be the first time in weeks we
have spent a day not talking. i dont miss him. i saw him
yesterday tho. stacy spoke to me coz she had no1 else to
talk to. how pathetic. today i was thinkin bout the rest of
hte gang and how they blew me off. just wen i get new
friends stacy makes up with me... after goin to gigs on my
own and being insulted. i was gunna kill myself back then i
had no1. i just stayed in bed, dreading school and work.
kinda glad i didnt, coz once every so often i feel wanted
by somone. especially at the start of relationships... as
it goes on im taken for granted tho. infact im taken for
granted in most walks of life...

i still got the rest of my life to live.. im only 16 but
everything i want to do has already been done, why would i
want to go and do it again?? im still unsure about the
future. i wish i had my career all planned outfor me, so i
had a clue about wot i wanted to do.

i hate business it is boring.
i have applyed for business cources at uni.
i have nothing better to do.
i dont have the grades for any of it.
i have failed everything i have ever attemped to do.
i have the abitity to manipulate ppl close to me.
they turn to hate me sooner or later.
i am worthless.