Laxblondie13

Novemeber 13,2000 11:22 pm Dear..

Novemeber 13,2000
11:22 pm

Dear Diary~
Ok i am writing again becuz there is no1 else to talk to. i feel
like there is no one. no one to help me with my problems. No one to
Love me. No one to care. No one to listen.

I cant believe chris is doing this to me. sometimes he acts like
he loves me and only me. But there are other times.... like tonight
when it seems like he doesnt give a shit. maybe he doesnt. maybe he
doesnt care @ all. Maybe i should move on. But i have never felt this
way. and i cant just "move on" and what if he does really love me.
but he is acting like he doesnt. Chris doesnt have caller ID so he
couldnt have known it was me calling. so maybe he does love me. and i
know that chris never ever calls people when he says he will... so
maybe HE DOES LOVE ME!

Ok well as usual.. i feel like i have No friends. I know that
these people are my friends.. i am posotive that they are.
1)Kyla
2)Katherine
3)Sarah
those are my three bestest friends!
4)helen
5)sonia
6)shannon
7)Janine
8)michelle
9)amanda
10)becky
11)matt
12)jeff
13)tyler
14)Chris**** im hoping he's more than a "friend"
welkl i know other people care about me... but are they really
my "friends" i dont know... maybe i'll just have to ask them!

well i know that the peoplke i just said all care about me.. but
than there are people like jamie. cara, jessica, yen, tyler, jordan,
and so many othgers that absolutly hate me! and u dont know how
terrible it is just knowing that people hate u. these people hatye me
so much that they ruin my life. i dont even go to school becuz of
them. ill never admit to that.. so let's keep thatr our little
secret. i hope more people are really my friends. and i hope chris
doesnt hate me.. and i hope he actually loves me. well its late i
should go to sleep. ill write as soon as i get home tomorrow. i love
you
Christy~