cRYstal

my manic world
2001-03-23 04:19:24 (UTC)

what is wrong with me????? i..

what is wrong with me????? i cna't sontrol my feelings,
everything bothers me, i hate myself and the world, i don't
know what to do. shes stil there for me, showing as much
support as always, but i'm so jeolous. she can chill with
her friends and have a good time, i can't have fun at all,
i rarely feel good about anything lately it seems. i don't
know what to do with myself. today was awful, and now i am
left, unable to sleep, with swollen eyes from crying, my
mother completely hurt by how upset i am, and no where near
any real answers. the psychologist i ma suppose to see
doesn't seem to have time to call to set me up an
appointment, and that just makes me feel more like shit. i
am in such despair. my stomach hurts too, because i ate i
think, i feel so awful, ishouldn't have eaten, i wasn't
hungry, i feel guilty now. maybe thats why my stomach is
hurting, i don't know. i wish shit would just get better,
but i think it'll get a lot worse.


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