The Useless Drag of Another Day
anyone can hold a promise. not everyone can feel honored.
March 22; 9:30 p.m.
song of the moment: two promises by sunny day real estate
its amazing how the way you feel about something can change
within a few hours. mad extreme love turns into self
pity. and you wish it would become anger but that would
mean i'd have to be less than angelic for him. and i dont
want to be that. so i'd rather sacrifice my happiness for
his. this is love. billy corgan knew what he was saying
when he said love is suicide. i doubted that i'd ever feel
that way but right now i do. it pisses me off. i wouldnt
ever do this to someone. i couldnt. my god. i hate this, i
love this insanely, my whole being in dependant on it, i
cannot live without it. but its killing me. i am in love.
this is when you know its real. when you're letting it do
this to you for the other persons sake. i've cried
everynight this week. maybe because i'm overly dramatic and
stupid and bitchy. thats what i'll probably say. blame it
on myself. better me than him. love peace empathy mischief
desire and gladness to all of you. especially me. i need it.