Borrowed Light
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2001-11-11 09:51:53 (UTC)

strange admiration

well it is now 6:15 pm...my plaits are gone, and i am left
with nothing but a sore head and a vague memory of what
they looked like...

i started getting a headache at around 2pm so i got my mum
to take them out, the headache didnt disappear so i wen for a
nap at about 3:30 and didnt appear again until 6. i can
gladly say the headache is gone!

i spoke to jordan on msn today, and he is actually pretty
nice...sure anyone can be nice on msn but he really does
seem like a good guy...accents have always been on the top
of my list for good things in a guy. sure there has to be
alot more to them than accents, but i lust for travel and i
guess accents are a taste of different countries and
cultures. i was also very flattered and confused that he
chose to pursue me over the other 6 girls..more confused
really. there we had jess who is really pretty, kelly who
is amazingly talented, sarah has this friendly stigma about
her and i think she is so sweet looking, jennie is gorgeaus
and funny, beck is a laugh and fun to be around, hayley
was taken so thats understandable, but really why me. tghe
only reason i stood out in anyway was because my hair was
different, big deal!

i guess last night i was a lil different than usual. i was
literally crazy. i was trying to dance away my sadness
about joe and it actually worked...when we got those guyd
up dancing i was mucking around and laughing with them and
stuff, i spose i might have seemed friendly. after we
performed i just couldnt stop grooving. i jumped and
skanked and rapped with kimbo. man that girl is a good
person, she is really nice...she got us up on stage with
her and she kept giving us recgnition, we ddint deserve it
as much as she did...im glad there is no competitiveness
between the two dance troops..i feel a somewhat sisterhood
with her. its cool. anyways i was just mucking around,
dancing like nobody was watching. i guess i would have
seemed like one of those girls that didnt care what anyone
thouhgt...i guess last night i was. i got joe up and
dancing with me for a bit, it was cool. we had fun, and i
am glad to say are back to normal! maybe it was secrecy
that kept us at a distance...

anyway this dude jordan kept talking to me and stuff which
was weird (like i said) then he came up and goes "so have i
done enough work to get your number?" i just laughed and
said "yeah maybe" i spent the rest of the night dancing...i
didnt sit once, it was the best buzz ever. this dude form
super fish was sooo cool. you might even say my perfect
guy..i could never do anything though, i probably wouldnt
even talk to him. he seems all band like and cool, and plus
he might turn out to be a creep or something and ruin my
image of perfection! he is the lead singer and he just
doesnt give a damn, i swear...he was just...cool. you have
to see him up there, you just cant take your eyes away. i
spose all you ladies out there want a description...wellll
if you insist. ok well he has short dave grohl style
chocolote brown hair...he wears this cool green golf cap on
the side, and he just has a cool charisma...hmm anyways

i still dont know why this jordan guy likes me, its so
weird..he is pretty attractive and stuff, i just cant
comprehend it..oh well maybe im better than i think or

who knows...

i am finding myself in that teen girlie stage at the moment
where i am actually checking guys out and stuff, you know
seeing if they have potential. i go through this stage
every now and again and for some strange reason there are
lots of prospects at the moment, i dont mean lots of people
are interested, just a few people i could be interested in.
i guess i just want a cuddly person..whatever happens
happens. i think i could just have fun dancing for a while
(not the performance type, just in the crowd)

i am talking to todd barlow at the moment and he told sax
playing todd form emmanuel that i think he's cute. argh the
shame, i will never be able to talk to that guy now! am i
boy crazy or what? i dont think thats it...i dont really
want a relationship or anything...

anyway i have to go eat ice cream..mmmmm sunday...

have a nice sleep all!


"If u no someone who tries 2 drown their sorrows, u mite
tell them that sorrows no how 2 swim."

"Theres nothing more precious in this world than the
feeling of being wanted."

"im gonna creep inside your head, hypnotise your mind,
trace your every movement, until your thoughts are mine"

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