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2001-11-11 03:51:28 (UTC)


right now.
i am missing you.
and i know that this will pass.
ill start to remember exactly who you are.
who you were
what you did.
i guess right now.
im just letting myself forget.
things would be so much happier in life if we didnt
remember anything.

but i remember.

i remember.
iam nota burnout.


my hair is chewed enough i think.

i think.
i need to sleep.
coughing hurts my throat.
an automatic systematic reaction.
and it hurts.
too much of anything is bad for you.
or so ive heard.

im lost is lots of bubbles.
bubbles of your mind.
lost without a hand to hold.
without a path to find.

how are you.
havent heard your voice in awhile.
how have you been.
thats nice.
well bye.
i probably wont speak to you for another awhile.

health factor.
or maybe youd go crazy.
if you remembered everything.

o v e r p r o c e s s i n g

a specialty.
of me.

a fake smile.
yes sir.
yes huh.
yes no yes no

why do you care.
oh fuck thats right.
you dont.
and neither do i.
not anymore.
the world.
is a whore.
a dirty nasty slut
that tells lies to its children.
comes up with lies to tell itself.
for some sort of comfort.
and then
gets fucked up the ass.
and were all wondering.
oh but why.
why. why.

the world is not a cruel place.
the people here are the problem.

tress and flowers.
make up. saw dust. grime and crime.
not so much.

time time time
lots and lots of time
but really how much do we all have
when will i die.
and when will you wake up.

i will live foreveeerrr


not happening.
i wouldnt want to live forever.
i think id start killing people.
i think sometimes i cant deal with it.
i cant.
i cant deal with the stupidity.

and then sometimes.
i want to help fix things.
i feel like im cleaning a fucking shelf.
and everytime i fucking dust it.
the next time i come back
its even more fuckign dusty than before.
talk about wasting my precious fucking time
i hate it.
i hate it more than anything, i think.
yes i definetly do.
there is time for this and time for that.
but not time enough for me to you.
and there isnt even enough time to fall in love anymore.
you have to sort of fit it in.
and it has to be somewhat fucking convient.
and what the fuck happens.
when its not.
you try and you try
and if just one person slips up
fucking fucks up
then nothing is the same
and you can ask yourself
but why
i dont get it.
different situations.
fuckgin different fucking people.
a different fucking time.
a time where i wasnt.
it was not my time.
im not ready.
or im not this.
not fucking that.
whatever man.
fuck this.
fuck that.
fuck fuck fuck
im sick
and im bitchy
and im going to sleep now.