*blank stare*
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2001-11-10 23:58:23 (UTC)

If You've Never Heard That Silence, It's A God- Awful Sound...

Some poeple are gone. Those that aren't, I dont know if I
can talk to. I feel as though I have lost everyone dear to
me and I dont know why it happened or how. Only I'm lonlier
than I've ever been in my life, with the exception of 2
other times. I feel like I'm in a movie... while I can see
out of my eyes, all can see in my mind no matter what i'm
looking at is myself, as though i was on a TV screen. The
music I listen to is the soundtrack to my life, and I have
no idea how this movie will end. Guess I also don't really
I think Frances is mad at me... for some reason I really
want to talk to him, or see him. He's online but I'm afraid
to talk to him because I dont think he wants to talk to me.
I just want things back the way they were between me and
him, back before anything happened that was or seemed to be
more than friendship. I allowed something to happen, I
wanted it too, and it ruined everything. I'm so lonely, and
I just want someone here who will tell me it's allright
while I fall asleep in their arms, or at least in their
presence. Oh goody, I'm crying again. I'm going to have a
record by the end of the night, I bet. God, I need to get
out of here, out of the house, anyway. But I have noplace
to go, so if I'm going to be alone and lonely, it might as
well be someplace warm that I dont have to waste gas
getting to. Think my depression is coming around to say hi.
He's about due. God, I miss Frances. The OLD Frances. The
way he and I used to be, before things got wierd, which, of
course, we both assured ourselves and each other wouldn't
happen. Why can't anything ever stay as it is, when it's at
it's best?
Yeah, I know. Life sucks. Get a helmet.
Jon, if you read this; please, talk to me, no matter what
it is you have to say.
Current Music: Hallelujah- Rufas Wainwright