Weird Chuck

Meeting Myself... For the First time.
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2001-11-10 21:32:26 (UTC)

Hello Me...

There was once a song a friend of mine and I often listened to by the
band MegaDeth, the lyrics went as such,

Hello me, meet the real me
And my misfits way of life.
A cold, black past is my,
Most valued possession.

For most of my life, I thought I had known myself.. thought
I knew the person I claimed to be. And as I have learned in
my travels through life, it takes a long time to know
anything about yourself and all it takes to change you, is
one thing.

I often walked through this existence, waiting for some
big-rig to come around the next corner and take me down, I
didn't know what I was living for, what my placement in
existence was, why we existed. I asked so often why.. Why
was the sky blue. Why did I feel blue. Why would I sit and
all of a sudden feel the dashing desire to cry? Why didn't
I laugh in truth anymore? Why did pain of the soul seem to
be all I could feel. And now.. those questions aren't
significant anymore.

I don't care why the sky's blue, I just want it to remain
that color. I'm don't feel blue all the time anymore. I no
longer all of a sudden wish to burst into tears. I laugh in
truth, I laugh so often my face aches cause of the use of
those muscles. And my soul isn't in pain anymore.

My soul is the most surprising thing.. It was in pain
because of this gaping hole within it.. this absence. And
surprisingly, all it took to stop that pain, was fill that
hole. Who knew it.. all those questions, and it just took
patience to find an answer. An answer to all my questions.
Now, I don't hurt anymore...